Sick Cycle Carousel
by Kineticfairy
Summary: Caught between love and lust [SasuSaku]
1. If Shame Had A Face

**Disclaimer: Instead of doing something productive, like reading a good book or cleaning my room, I've decided to ruin the lives of Masashi Kishimoto's characters: Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. Therefore, in no way, shape and or form do said characters belong to me.**

**A/N: This is a kind of omnibus of lust; my perverted, shameful side demanded I write. It varies from not explicated to utterly explicate so in dealing with this content all characters are in their early to mid-twenties and are terribly addicted to sadomasochism. Now with a bag on my head for the rest of my life, please begin the hate comments you will surely be sending my way. Suffering from OC and AU.**

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_Everybody loves a tragedy…_

"Tousan," the man with dark eyes looked down at the boy who held his hand securely in his small palm and fingers. "Do I really have to get a shot, Kaasan already gave me my kiss." he lifted a brow and stopped walking and lifted the boy up into his arms.

"Did your Kaasan say that kisses cured everything?" his father asked suspiciously, it was like looking in the mirror, both had blacker than black hair and obsidian eyes. Of course, he was the more infamous of the two. Uchiha Sasuke, once a trusted shinobi of Konohagakure village now nothing more than a suspicious man with few friends and earning his way back into the good graces of the village hidden in the leaf.

"Hai." the boy said as he was carried the rest of the way up the steps and into the hospital.

"Yes, you have to get your shot because your Kaasan's kisses are only effective if you get your shot." he said and his son believed him. They went inside and headed up to the front desk.

"Hello, Uchiha-san, and Shoichi-kun." the young woman greeted, hiding her engagement ring with her right hand. Despite most of the hate he received, he still managed to attract the local women. He was a married man now so he had obtained both his first and second goal before his twenty-fifth year.

"Well, she's all ready for you, so why don't you just go in that room right across the way. Oh, here Shoichi-kun, don't forget your lollipop." she reached out to give Shoichi his green lollipop, but Sasuke whisked the candy away.

"And you'll get it after your shot." Sasuke chided, carrying the boy over to the room the where they were directed too. The door closed behind him and he sat his son down, stuffing the lollipop into the pocket of his Jonin vest.

He pulled the chair over to the edge of the bed and grabbed his son by the ankles, pushing them up and down and he listened to the boy's laugh. He found tranquility in it. Everything about his life was disastrous except for this child. He finally knew what pure love was without hardships.

The door opened and the boy's smile radiated through the room. She was a beautiful woman donning a white coat over a pink vest and black pencil skirt. What made her beautiful were her bright viridian irises and her shoulder length strawberry blond tresses.

"Haruno-chan, Haruno-chan did you miss me?" the boy asked, stretching out his arms. She closed the door behind her and reached for his hands.

"Of course I did, Shoichi-kun. Now let us fill out your chart. Okay… name, well that is easy Uchiha Shoichi. Next… age… well that is another easy one. You are five."

"Haruno-chan, did you forget? I'm six, I turned six last July." she feigned surprise and took a step back.

"Oh, that's right, how could I be so silly as to forget that you turned six?" she pretended to scratch out the number and rewrite, but Sasuke knew that she was just playing with Shoichi, she was great with kids, all kids, even his. Sasuke enjoyed the way she bantered with his son; she did not seem to go to such great lengths with the other children she saw.

"Why didn't you come to my birthday party?" Shoichi asked, Sasuke had not been there for the party either, his reason the same as Sakura's, a mission.

"We've talked about this, I was on a very long mission out of fire country as a medic-nin I had to go out a save lives, but I did come back with a very nice gift for you, didn't I?" he nodded, a little ashamed, but she ruffled his hair and went to wash her hands.

"Roll up your sleeve." she instructed, he did, and she touched his arm. "Look at you, getting all strong, soon you'll be as powerful as your Tousan." she disinfected the area, uncapped the needle, and pushed out the air bubbles. "Wanna hold my hand?"

"I don't need to… okay, maybe one more time." she smiled and he took her hand and he squeezed it tight, closing his eyes.

"Okay, all done."

"Really?" he asked, peeking with one eye to see her applying a bright blue band-aid to where she injected the needle.

She laughed a deep throaty laugh that made Sasuke's heart catch on a pulse. "Really, you take care now and I'll see you on your next appointment." she walked over to the sink to wash her hands again.

"Haruno-chan why don't you have supper over with us, can she Tousan…" Sasuke looked from his son to his former teammate and the girl who had had a crush on him for the longest time.

"I'm sorry, Shoichi-kun I'll have to decline, I have a very important dinner date." she dried her hands and walked back over, leaning over him. "Maybe some other time, okay? I will see you around, out of the hospital. Be well." Her smile overpowered Sasuke and she was gone from the room in a blink of an eye.

Sasuke lowered his son onto the ground and took his hand, leaving the room. "Nagase-san would you mind watching Shoichi just for a moment, I forgot to ask Haruno-san something."

"Uh, sure, no problem Uchiha-san." the girl said, lowering her cup of tea onto the counter. Sasuke brought the boy over to her, handing him his promised lollipop.

"You stay with Nagase-san, okay, I'll be right back." Shoichi nodded and Sasuke turned on his heel and hurried down the hall in the direction he last saw Sakura headed.

He was right behind her when he pulled open a door and pulled her inside, covering her mouth so she would not scream and pushing her inside with him, shutting the door tight behind them. He found that they were in a medical supply closet.

Sakura pushed his hand off her mouth and glared at him when she recognized who had pulled her suddenly into a closet. "Sasuke what the fuck do you think you're d-" his mouth pressed hard against hers as he wrapped his arms possessively around her, crushing her against him.

Her hands crawled up the back of his shirt, pressing hard to feel the muscles of his back under the fabric of his black shirt with the Uchiha mon in the center. Her mouth moved against his until he pressed his tongue against teeth, tasting the sodium fluoride of her toothpaste.

She was always so clean and she was intoxicating with strawberries and jonquil and softer than any velvet, any satin or silk. Sealed boxes of tongue depressors fell around them as he pressed her back hard against the shelf.

Her fingers fisted his hair and she broke the kiss, gasping for air as he attacked the side of her neck, nipping and sucking generously. Under the cloud of lust, she managed to push him back, enough to cease his kisses, but he reached out and his hands circled her waist firmly, refusing to let her go.

"What-?" he huffed, panting unevenly with his mad heartbeat.

"What do you mean what? You are a married man with a child no less." she had to pry at his hands, but he was stronger so his hands hardly moved. "Look it's great you're back, I mean that's what Naruto and I strived to accomplish- let go- you have your revenge and you killed Orochimaru and now you have yourself a family, all your goals reached."

"Is this so-called important dinner date with the dobe?" he asked, with a slight sneer, she was still trying to wrest his hands off her waist, of course with little success, she did manage to lift a finger or two.

Sasuke assumed she could just use the bizarre strength of hers to remove his hands, but he knew in reality that she just wanted to linger near him. She was making a good show of wanting to get away. "You know it is… we've been in a relationship longer than you've been married."

He pulled her close so her hips pressed against his and he whispered to her as he pressed their foreheads together. "It still hurts." All her petulance melted away with concern and she stopped tugging at his hands, slid her hands up his arms to the high collar of his black shirt and pulled it down to reveal the ineffective Ten no Juin.

"What, the cursed mark?" She watched him lower his lashes and chuckled darkly.

"No, my heart." he said in all seriousness, their eyes meeting once again. His hands reached up to cradle her face as she dropped her arm down to her side.

"Well, I can't do anything for that." she said, turning her head away in his hands. His lips moved softly along her cheek, pressing firmly against the corner of her painted lips.

"I think you can," he said, pressing his lips directly over hers in a slow and agonizing kiss that made her toes curl and lift so that she was closer to him, he was so tall now. She pushed him back, tears in her eyes that she willed not to spill.

"I'm trying to forget you as quickly as I can, so stop messing with my feelings."

"I won't ever let you forget me." he said with a glare and pressed his mouth to hers even as she resisted, she moaned long and low as his fingers pushed up under her shirt and closed around one ample breast.

Of all the days for her not to wear her chest bindings, he was under another assumption that she dressed a certain way when he came to visit. "I defiantly like it when you wear less." he whispered lowly against her throat.

Sasuke took her left hand and drew it down his body, pressing her palm over his slacks, the length of his arousal, imprisoning her there when she tried to pull away. "Don't." she murmured against his neck when he pressed close to kiss behind the ear.

"Stop me." he lifted up her skirt up to her stomach and raised her off the ground, urging her to wrap her legs around his waist. She submitted at last, her fingers brushing aside his forelocks and kissing him back with as much passion as he dealt. He pushed her underwear aside, touched her, and stroked her until his fingers were slick.

Pulling his head closer, she realized it was too late for both of them; he to her was an addictive drug in her bloodstream and vice versa. Sasuke lifted her hips, freed himself from his pants and boxers, and lowered her onto his erection.

She hissed his name as he pushed into her until he was secure within her tight warmth. Her legs hooked around his knees, her ankles pushing against his inner thighs as he repeatedly lifted and lowered her so that he was creating a delicious friction between them.

He dropped kisses along her throat up to her ear. He inhaled sharply and dragged his lips along her smooth cheek to her mouth, where he caressed and suck and bit. "I want to hear that you love me."

"Sasuke-kun," she sobbed, burying her face in the curve of his neck and shoulder, trying to keep her tears at bay. Warm tears dampen the fabric of his shirt. "I love you," she gasped as he slid out only to plunge back in.

He made a feral animalistic sound as he pushed her back against the shelf as he finally found his release, triggered by hers. She gasped, wiping away her tears as his body withdrew.

Sasuke lowered her back onto her feet as she tugged her skirt back down, smoothing out the crinkles and running her fingers through her hair. He fixed his pants before thumbing away her tears that refused to stop.

"Don't cry, Sakura, I hate it when you cry." he kissed her tear-stained cheeks and pushed her against him, holding her close and breathing in her scent. "Let's run away."

"Are you kidding?" she asked, laughing against him. Her arms wound around his torso and she held him against her, his body warm and wonderfully solid.

"I never joke, I love you, you love me, just come with me," he said into her hair, kissing the crown and closing his eyes, he could feel her heart and it was the most soothing thing, it chased away his demons. He was still a tormented soul with a haunted mind.

"If you love me so much you should have never gotten married, terribly inconsiderate of you." she said, pulling away and looking up at him with tired eyes, how long had they been locked away in the supply closet?

"Well, if I'm inconsiderate then you're a liar." she blinked, her tears finally stilled. "You said you loved me, but I come back and find out that you and the loser are involved." he stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I suppose it's better than seeing you with that copycat."

"How could I ever love a man who continuously calls me ugly in good humor?"

"You're not ugly, far from it, you're heartbreakingly beautiful," she laughed again, pressing her cheek into his hand.

"When did Uchiha Sasuke become a poet?" he kissed her, rapture never tasted this sweet.

"Not a poet, just an honest man." he kissed her again, catching her face between his hands, she pressed against him, her fingers back in his hair, loving the feel of his soft black locks. She pulled back, sucking on her bottom lips as though to taste him there, he tasted like tomato filled onigiri and sake; he loved to drink sake.

"Well, honest or not, Naruto loves me; he's good to me-"

"I'm better." he kissed her face, every inch; even her eyelashes were not safe from his worship. She pulled back again, eyes closed. Her breathing was uneven all over again.

"It's not a competition. I am not running away with you because you have a son and a wife and both of them love you dearly and I am going to stay with Naruto. You are a father now; you lost the right to be selfish. So it's over."

She was an inch away from the door handle before he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her. "You're right, forgive me for thinking of us!" and he left. It would seem that he always had to have the last word. He was really like a sullen teenager no matter how many years had past, if he did not get his way he would become all huffy.

She hated being in love with him, loving him gave her nothing but grief ever since she was a little girl. There was no happy ending with Uchiha Sasuke; there was only pain, longing and self-loathing. She took a deep breath, recomposed herself and picked up all the fallen boxes.

She had patients to attend to and a dinner to ready herself for, Naruto was more than likely going to propose again and perhaps this time she would accept.

-Fin-


	2. Endless Nightmare, Devil's Lair

**A/N: I chose the Title for this story as a whole: Sick Cycle Carousel, because if you ever heard the song by Lifehouse because the lyrics fit in with the Sasuke/Sakura situation I'm putting into this unhappy tale. Why did Sasuke marry someone else was another asked question, well I did say, it was because she was already in a relationship with Naruto.**

**Warning: If you don't approve… This being the high explicit level forementioned in the first chaper and I think the one I'm expecting heavy flames… I've never been flamed before… lets just say it would be enough to hurt my feelings, but that's the life of an author right? Besides I wrote this so I wanted to get this out, I write for myself a lot. Just to let you know there are no happy endings between them in these stories, that why I placed it under angst, not to say there's no love between them, its just the situations I put them in won't allow for it. **

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_It's kind of sick how I'm stuck on you..._

The house was dark, she loved the dark, loved being blind, loved the heightening of her other senses. Sounds, smells, touch. She could even taste the freezing cold darkness of the living room.

The window was open and it was obvious that there was an intruder inside. She wore only her comfortable big tee that touched down to her thighs and a pair of pink boyshorts. In her hand, she held tightly the handle of her kunai.

The floorboards creaked under the weight of feet, wanting acknowledgment and she knew it was he, because he smelt like pine and smoke and no one else she knew was able to maintain the smell for very long.

The room was empty except for the play of moonlight and Uchiha Sasuke, standing beside her couch. His hair was blue-black, the color of midnight, and his eyes darker than obsidian.

She followed the line of his body to the broad shoulders, the muscled edge of his arms, his chest already naked. There was no hair on his chest, only the firm outline of muscles. "I've come for one thing and one thing only." he said that every night, like a mantra.

"I'm not your whore!" she countered, narrowing her eyes, but the warm curl in her lower abdomen was telling her otherwise. Why couldn't she stop? Why did she keep letting him in?

"Aren't you though?" her hand tightened on her kunai, she knew she would never use it against him, never turn a weapon on the man she loved so inadvertently. She drew her legs in against her body, wrapping her arms tight around herself.

"Get out, Sasuke, get out." she felt him kneel in front of her, but she did not dare look. She kept her eyes tight shut. "Get out!"

"Why would I leave when you so blatantly belong to me?" he pushed open her legs, revealing the fabric that hid what would interlock them. He ran his hands up the insides of her thigh and smirked at her.

Once upon a time they had been teammates, friends. Now, sitting there, trying to cling to her sanity, she did not feel very friendly, she felt crazed. Good God, she was an addict and Uchiha Sasuke was the drug.

She wanted to fling herself off the couch, onto him. She wanted to run to him, to jump him, to fuck him. It was not right. This was not her. There was no other way to describe her body's wants. "Stand up." an imperative.

Her fingers unwound from the handle of the kunai and she did as he said. There was no fighting fate. Trust Haruno Sakura to take a page out of Hyuuga Neji's book.

She watched like a predator as he stepped back, distancing them, she licked her lips unconsciously. "On your knees," it was another command that she was less reluctant to obey.

She took a couple of deep breaths before dropping to the floor on all fours. Sakura crawled towards him, feeling like an animal stalking its prey. She really was a whore.

His feet were bare. She lowered her lips to the smooth skin on top of his foot, kissed once before licking along it. His breath came out in a shiver. "Fuck." Sakura used her hands to crawl up his legs, tugging on his pants, until she knelt in front of him.

Without meaning to, she managed to lower his pants down over his hips, exposing the dark blue fabric of his boxers. Her face almost level with his groin, she could see him pressed tight and firm under the cloth, the tip of him straining against the elastic of the underwear.

Sakura wanted to help him, lower that barrier. She slid her hands around behind him, digging fingers into his jeans, groping the backs of his hips. It brought a sound from low in his throat; it hardly kept her from ripping his jeans down with his underwear.

She was doing everything carefully slowly; she wanted to torture him for torturing her. Sakura did not want to be careful and felt anything but slow. She wanted him to beg her to take him. Damn it, she was better than this.

Sasuke stroked her hair, and that one tender touch brought her face back up. There was that look on his face, the one he got when he was sure of her, sure of what would happen between them, he was such an egomaniac. That look brought a low sound in her throat and he touched her cheek. "Don't stop," he said in that soft dark voice, "don't stop."

Sakura pressed her cheek against the length of him and heard him hiss through clenched teeth as she rubbed her cheek against him, her fingers crawling up to knead the flesh at the small of his back. He was so hard, so firm against her cheek under the fabric of his boxers.

Sasuke made a noise halfway between a word and a shout, his hands went to the back of his pants and boxers and he was the one who pulled them down to reveal himself to her eyes. The heat between them was immense as if they could melt whatever they touched.

He was smooth, the head wide and rounded, fine, straight, pressed against the hollow of his hip. She took him in her hands, sliding her hand down to hear more of those hissing breaths. She lifted him away from his body just enough so she could wrap her mouth around the head of him, roll her tongue along that graceful curve of him. He shuddered under her touch and she smiled, he was not as apathetic as he thought.

She drew more of him into her mouth and he was smooth perfection. Every touch, caress and every lick brought some new sound from him and it became a game to see what sound she could evoke next. His breath was coming in quick, staccato bursts.

He grabbed a handful of her hair; pulled her back from him, his eyes and more than likely her own… clouded with lust. "Up."

She frowned at him, was her game already over, how depressing. "What?"

He bent down, took her by the elbows, and hoisted her to her feet. He kissed her hard, his tongue invading her mouth to run along the bone of her teeth, over and under her tongue. It was as if he was trying to possess her through that one vicious kiss. With their mouths still locked together in a gobbling kiss, he lifted her up.

He parted her legs with his hands and pushed his pants completely off with his feet. The feel of him so firm, so ready, drew sounds from her mouth that he drank up like the sake he so loved to drink.

Sasuke used his hands to nudge her lower body away from his, her arms still twined around his shoulders, fingers in the hair at his nape. He used one hand to support all her weight, while the other moved between them. It took less then a second for her to realize what was about to happen.

Sakura fought the feel of his hands, his mouth; she broke the kiss long enough to pant, "Sasuke-kun," and he drove his hips forward, upward.

The feel of him inside her was exactly what she wanted, what she craved for all day long, she was addicted to sex, particularly his sex. He was never hesitant or gentle; he was always unrestrained and uncouth.

He fought against the wet tightness of her body. Both hands kneaded the small of her back over the swell of her hips, pushing her to him, as he pushed him self repeatedly inside her.

She bit down on his shoulder to avoid the screams he induced. He carried her out of the freezing cold living room that raised goose bumps to their skin and erected their nipples. They were in her bedroom, where it was warmer because she had left the space heater on before she had gone into the living room to wait for him.

He let her fall onto the mattress, holding onto her waist, as he remained standing, pinning her body with his at the edge of the bed, he held her as if she weighed the same as a feather.

His eyes were feral, the color of blood specked with six black whirling tomoe. He slid out an inch at a time until he was almost free, then he shoved himself back, made her whimper loudly.

There was no pain, he had been rough the first time when there was pain, but after several encounters she only cried out because he could find that highly sensitive small area that, when stimulated, gave extreme sexual pleasure.

He found a rhythm that was fast, and deep and hard, as if he were trying to break open her very womb, his second goal of course was the restoration of the Uchiha clan, could he at least ask her to marry him first?

Her orgasm caught her unprepared. One moment she was meeting him thrust for thrust and the next she was crushing his hands within her own, crying out, writhing underneath him.

Sasuke grunted, loud and hard as he rode her against the mattress, hard. His body tightened against hers, his dark forelocks brushing against her taut, flat belly, tickling her, mixed together with her orgasm and his was exhilarating.

She closed her eyes as another wave of pleasure tore at her like a riptide, a burst of color flashing behind closed eyelids. His legs gave out and he fell atop her like a crumbling building.

Sasuke pushed her up onto the mattress, still buried inside her; she could feel the tremors of him pressing against her walls in the aftermath of the most incredible sex.

He looked back at her, his Sharingan deactivated; eyes back to their lustrous black color. There was something in his eyes, something serious, she dismissed it because he was always serious, and he had no room for jokes, except for those cruel mocking words of his.

"I want to stay here. I want to marry you." She pushed him off her and sat up, pulling down her tee-shirt and would have went in search for her underwear if she wasn't so exhausted that her legs couldn't even carry her.

"Don't be an idiot." she scolded. Their relationship would never work beyond anything except a quick, mindless, unbridled fuck. Outside of her home, he behaved as if he did not even know her. Even at the get-togethers. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like you to get the fuck out of my home."

He rose, pulled his boxers back over his hips and grasped her hands so she would not swing at him and kissed her brow. "As you wish, but I'll be back tomorrow, maybe in the afternoon, I would like to see you in the light this time." He made a play of kissing her lips, but pushed away, leaving her room to get his pants.

There was nothing to justify to why she was being so cold to him, except that he came to her house seeking sex when they were both in their own separate relationships and still that was no excuse. Giving into him the way she did, every night.

It was all a little sardonic, sadistic, psychotic, and still when he said he wanted to stay, she wanted to say, go ahead. When he said he wanted to marry her… she wanted to say, yes.

One thought alone passed through her mind as she lay curled up on one side: She was going to burn in hell for her transgression. "…can't wait."

-Fin-


	3. Till I Find Somebody New

**A/N: Well I didn't get any hurtful critique, that's a relief, I must say... I rewrote this so that it's a little longer than it first was... I just can't seem to make it any longer then the minimum of two thousands words a piece. Again I should warn you about the contents of the theme, its rated M for Mature Content, Strong Language (though I pretty sure there isn't any in this piece) and Use of Alcohol.**

**well... enjoy, don't enjoy... I'm kind of just seeing how many hits I can get now, don't get me wrong I like recieving reviews... this is starting to be done for fun, though I did appreciate the following reviews from:**

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Tamiko-Chan81  
Laura-chan  
Babybugichoo95  
xrose45623  
interstitial fluid  
Leila18  
Kenya  
Velvettears81969 (for your heartfelt, NO!T.T )  
kattylin  
Sleepykittycat (who has always given me such encouraging, fluttering reviews)  
Mac.P (for analogizing, because I love it when people understand what I'm trying get across in my musings)  
qqq102  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar  
Sirona of Arabia

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_It would have been better if we never met..._

Haruno Sakura stood in front of the mirror, in the middle of the room meant for a bride to prepare herself for her special day wondering numbly how and why she was there. Certainly not to celebrate, what would a woman who lost the man she loved to another woman celebrate?

Shakily she lifted the cup in her hands to her lips; filled with scotch on the rocks. She took a mouthful and swallowed hard, squeezing her eyes shut at the strong, bitter taste.

This is what she should be doing, getting drunk and wallowing in her self-pity, bemoaning her loss of a beautiful man that had her heart at the tender age… well, she had been very young when she convinced herself she was in love with him.

Uchiha Sasuke, last living member of his clan, possessor of the Sharingan, traitor of Konohagakure, a man trying to earn his way back into redemption, she sincerely wished him luck with that.

Because after all, she was hopelessly in love with him, all that dark hair, impenetrable obsidian eyes, and pallid, unmarred face, those rippling muscles with pale scars. He was like something out of a dream bordering on a nightmare.

She was hiding out, because she could not bear to watch the exchange of words, the kiss that sealed the agreement to love each other until death, binding them together forever. She gulped down another mouthful of the foul scotch and worked her jaw, pressing her lips together.

She looked down, found her glass empty, and placed it on the white desk used mostly for decoration, set against the window covered by heavy white and beige curtaining.

She could hear the music; she supposed the 'reception' had started, if it was up to Sasuke he would settled for a private quick ceremony and go home. With the door closed and the distance between the rooms, the music was faint.

Sakura could just picture him, sulking in a corner while Naruto tried to get him liquored up or engaged in conversation with the bride's friends and family. She started pacing, folding her arms across her chest.

She didn't know why she was here, there had to be a reason… maybe she thought he'd denounce everything and run to her, open his arms to her and say 'sorry' and 'I love you' well he always said the latter, she just had a hell of a time believing him when he was engaged to another woman.

She stopped in front of the mirror again and absorbed everything from the glitter and satin ruby color of her dress and matching red heels. She hated everything inside that mirror, the accusing emerald green eyes, the make-up that highlighted her natural facial appearance; she hated the dress. She hated her hair pinned up with sparkling ruby clips.

She hated herself so much… she started pacing again. The opening of the door pulled her away from her disdainful thoughts and halted her pacing. There he stood all dark and tall and more beautiful than any angel in the heavens, more intoxicating than any devil in hell.

She staggered back; his eyes were wide and his breathing a little uneven as if he had been searching vigorously for something he could not find. She swallowed around that hard lump in her throat that had formed there the second her eyes met his. "Sasuke-kun…"

"What happened? I was looking for you." he said, recomposing himself, he came into the room and shut the door behind him, she heard the lock snap and she staggered, taking a step back. She met his dark eyes and shook her hand, touching her hair, unable to run her fingers through them, lest she ruin her hairstyle.

"You thought I was going to watch as you became some other woman's husband?" she dropped her hand back down, letting it tuck against her stomach, her fingers holding her side. She laughed mostly at herself and turned around, so she did not have to look at him, if she did not look at him then she would not be tempted to jump him.

"I'm sorry." she closed her eyes; she was not expecting that, that was the least of what she was expecting, she wanted him to say that, but she hadn't expected it. She swallowed again, that lump just would not dislodge. She could hear him walk across the soft carpet until he was standing behind him.

She could feel his heat as his hands hovered above her shoulders, debating with himself on whether or not to touch her. He decided to touch her; she paled, taut with tension. He came closer until he had her pressed against him, she could hear the firm, steady beat of his heartbeat.

Sakura lolled her head back onto his strong shoulder and sighed as his hand moved down her bare shoulders, to her arms, elbows, wrists and then he entwined their fingers together, wrapping his and her arms around her.

He nuzzled her neck, just barely touching her with the tip of his nose, he lifted his lips to kiss and nip. She made a sound that pleased him, he let go of her hands and lifted them to her breast, pressing them firm against the swell of her chest. "I never wanted to hurt you…"

"You should have thought about that… before everything." she said, lowering her head so that her chin touched her chest, his hands moved down to her stomach, where he caressed under the fabric of her pretty dress, unable to contain the breathy laughs he caused to her sensitive skin.

"She's carrying my child, Sakura, what was I suppose to do, force her to abort it? I did what I thought was right, you told me to always do what was right."

"Since when did you ever listen to me?" she heard him, felt him sigh against her shoulder, he kissed softly and nuzzled the curve of her neck before licking her earlobe and gnawing gently on it.

"I love you, do you hear me?" he whispered into her ear, "_I_ love you. I _love_ you. I love _you_. Do you believe me yet?" Unintentionally she pushed back against him as he fisted the satin of her skirt into his fist and pulled up exposing her thigh, he got his hand under the material and dragged his fingers against the inside of her thigh.

"I don't know… they're just words." he spun her around and pushed her back until she was pinned between him and the wall. She looked up at him, hoping she got him mad enough to walk away, nothing ever goes the way it should, was it bad that she didn't want him to go.

Did not want him to go back to that… woman who was his wife, she wanted to keep him in the fantasy with her, where there was only her and only him and they were lovers, the rest of the world no longer existed.

He ran his hands high up to the back of the glittering bodice, caught the zipper, and yanked it down, it caught several times, but it only served to arouse.

Her breasts pressed into his chest as he caressed his lips along hers. Her fingers squeezed the tops of his shoulders, she made it hurt in all the right places. He chewed on her lip and yanked at the satin skirt until it revealed her cream color breasts, crested with rose areolas, crowning nipples.

He lowered his head, taking one in his mouth, cupping the breast, he felt intoxicated by her scent of jonquil and strawberries, he sucked and caressed with his tongue until she glistened from his attention, he set to work using the same treatment on her left breast.

She arched against him with an unrepressed moan and he moved his hands back to her skirt and fell slowly to his knees in front of her, dragging the now loose dress away from her body as he descended, eagerly uncovering the rest of her to his intense gaze.

The dress pooled around her ankles and he surrounded her ribs with his arms, lifted her up and carried her to that big desk where she had set her glass early, he knocked it away with the sweep of one arm and lowered her onto the desk latching his fingers into her undergarments to pull them away as well. He slid off her heels and kissed her knees before kissing the corner of her painted mouth.

Deftly her fingers set to work on his dress shirt as he worked on getting out his slacks and underwear, he knocked her hands away and rolled his shoulder back, muscles dancing under his skin as he removed the annoying clothes, he pulled her close, insinuating himself between her legs.

He kissed her jaw to her chin to the other side where her jaw met her ear; he pulled back and looked at her dull stare. "Don't do this Sakura, don't shut down on me now." her lashes lifted, catching her in his pleading stare.

"And what if I get pregnant? We aren't exactly playing safe here." he buried his face in the fragrant hollow of her shoulder. He kissed her and she found her hands had a mind of their own, she pressed the pads of her fingers against his smooth back, dancing over his spine, up to his nape where the curse mark laid, permanently dormant.

She coiled her fingers around the hair that fell against his nape and he finally whispered to her. "I would take care of you… I wanted you to be the mother of my child… I would have married you if I could have."

A laugh rippled through her and she pressed her cheek against his. She pulled back to see his face, what she saw almost broke her heart, almost. She would not allow it. "But I'm not and she is and you've already married her." she gasped when he pressed his mouth to hers, filling her with his tongue, touching everywhere he could.

Sakura's fingers tightened in the mass of black hair, trying to keep up. "Tell me this doesn't change anything, tell me that you still love me, the way you did before all this?"

"All this…? You mean sleeping with another woman, knocking her up and then marrying her?" he pressed his temple against hers and sighed. He sighed so much when he was around her, as though the chains around his soul were getting heavier with each passing moment.

It seemed she was the only one with the keys to those chains and if only for a moment, she could remove them. All she had to do was tell him that she was still desperately in love with him and give him her body. She took his face between her hands and brought their face level with each other.

The look in his eyes broke her heart this time. "If telling you something you already know, will make you feel… at ease… then yes, Sasuke-kun, I love you but not the way I did when I was little." This seemed to bring a new wave of pain to those black luster eyes of his.

"I adored you when I was younger, with all the trust of a child and the sweetness a girl brings her first love. I don't think you ever saw it." He may have seen parts of it, but he never saw the whole of her soul, colored by love, now all that color was gone…

She longed for those days past, she could never get them back, not in a million years, now all there was, was sex. How she wished she could have had the kind of innocent relationship that was every girl's dream, young or old.

Dreams such as soft, chaste kisses, hand holding, sweet words that meant everything would be okay in a gray cold world. Sakura sighed, his eyes were searching hers, trying to understand her words.

She could sense the caged beast within him, growing anxious as if what she was telling him would lead to his desire of her body interlocked with his. "I'm not naïve girl you use to know, I would have loved you forever, I'll give you my body Sasuke-kun, because I too need the solace, but we're done. I won't cry because it's over, I don't regret loving you, even for a second."

She could see the raw pain in his eyes at her words and she stroked his hair and his nape. "Come here." he pushed against her until their stomachs, their chests were right against the others, and he was secure between her legs.

She kissed him with a kiss that made his knees buckle and he brought her off the table until he was buried deep inside her. She bit his shoulder to muffle the pleasure moan that threatened to make her scream.

He was good, he was better than good. She rubbed her cheek in a long, slow sweep along his shoulder. She kissed the broken skin, bleeding a little from where her teeth had cut him. He met her lips in a harsh kiss. His hold on her hips tightening as he thrust himself even deeper, never breaking the erotic contact their lips made against the others.

She came, she came hard and fast and she could feel his orgasm fill her and she slumped against him catching her breath. Everything was bad now, because she was crying, even though she said she would not.

_Hypocrite…_ she thought as she held on tighter to him, never wanting to let go, never wanting this to end. Everyday she wanted him in her body, always touching her, kissing her and loving her. She never wanted to be apart from him, but he was leaving tomorrow with his wife.

"I'm sorry," he said again, pushing her back so he could brush away her tears.

"What are you sorry for now?" the smile never reached her eyes as he kissed her forehead, did he have to be so tender? Twelve, thirteen, fifteen-year-old Sasuke would reprimand her for getting all teary-eyed. Twenty-one year old Sasuke was lamenting her tears.

"Not thinking, wasting your time… everything." He withdrew and pulled his boxers and pants back on as well as his shirt. He made his way back to collect her dress. She slid off the table and pulled on her underwear. He gave her back her dress and she set to work on pulling it back on.

"Why do you spoil everything?" He turned and looked at her, in the middle of buttoning his shirt back up. He lifted his shoulders in an indifferent shrug as if that was his answer. "Not good enough, I just want to be with you… without the weight of your love. It's suffocating, I can't breathe sometimes."

"I apologize, it's the only way I know how to love you." she wanted to laugh, but she could only swallow her tears and harden her heart. How could he say that… when she could not have him or the love he said was there?

Tears slid down her cheeks as she freed her hair, let it spill against the back of her neck, she gathered her hair and wrapped it into a loose bun, keeping it in place with the clips. He could not bear to see her in such pain, but he was a constant source. She lifted her hand to wipe away the tears black with her mascara; she rubbed until the black was gone.

He hugged her to him, held her close even as she tensed in his hold. "You better hurry back, your bride is missing her groom." he stepped back, rubbed her arms and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you."

"Why can't love be enough…?" she asked when he was gone from the room. She found herself staring in the mirror at her broken and pathetic image. There he was, in the mirror, - but not in the mirror- all she had to do was reach out and…

She covered her mouth with her hand then she could not even look at herself any more and she covered her eyes, crying, loudly, unable to stifle the tears. "Oh, God," She fell to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. No, she wasn't little Haruno Sakura anymore, she was a woman plagued by lust that could never become real love; all she had was the ghost, the illusion.

She loved him… she loved him more than life itself and he loved her, but his love came too late. She had finally ended their little torrid love affair. She could not see him anymore, she had to find somebody else or swear off all men, whichever would allow her to heal the quickest, but he would always own a piece of her heart. Forever and always, he would hold a portion of her heart and of course, her colorless soul.

-Fin-


	4. Here In The Darkness I Know Myself

**Since there seems to be some confusion... which happens a lot in my stories... weird... I hope this will clear some things up for as I mentioned in chapter one:**

**Om·ni·bus: omnibus- book collecting separate works: a single book containing several works, usually by the same author, involving the same main characters, or on the same subject.**

**And I of course would like to thank the following people for their reviews (It means a lot) :**

**xrose45623  
****HPBabe91**  
**Merridaine (I don't know who his wife is, just some girl he knocked up, for shame.)  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar (Yes and no.)  
Silver Broken Wings (The third piece of course is before their son is born.)  
sleepykittycat (The way I see it in the english version, Sasuke cares a lot about Sakura, so for me I think... those feelings had to always be there just not as intense... they are 12 after all...)  
Wolfgirl21 (It took awhile to come up with a good title but I thought Lifehouse's song was fitting for the theme I was using.)  
cweam and cheese  
fantasy4luvr  
Kawaii Yashie**

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_Here in the shadows, I'm safe, I'm free..._

The pub was loud, clattering glasses and loud conversations blended into the air. They had been there for exactly one hour; they were already drinking while they waited for the rest of gang. Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura, the former team seven squad brought together again after Sasuke's initial defection.

It had felt like a lifetime since they had seen each other, in truth… it had only been a couple of years and many things between all three of them had changed, not that they liked talking about it. They had gotten together to create new memories and stop dwelling in the past.

Naruto was the one who insisted old team seven have these once a week outings, of course they were hard to go to, Naruto however, saw no problem in getting together.

Sakura and Sasuke were the ones who always hesitated to see each other. Sasuke, not one to concern himself with worry, seemed to delay the actual meeting as long as he could, he was addicted to her like a bad habit, not one he wanted to break, anyone looking at her would agree that she had become… more.

Sakura looked down into her cup, ignored the appetizer, sipped from time to time and laughed softly when Naruto said something particularly funny. She had not wanted to go either, being around a man who rolled out of bed looking that good, just made her uncomfortable, and… she too had a bad habit.

His foot knocked against hers under the table, she looked up from the whiskey sour she had been drinking. His hand tightened around his sake cup and met her emerald gaze with his obsidian irises, pretending to listen to the dobe's long-winded, overdramatic tale of his latest Anbu mission, rubbing in the fact the Uchiha Sasuke, once a well-respected and highly praised shinobi… was still a Jonin.

Sasuke dragged his foot up to her bare calf then back down and catching her ankle between his booted feet, lifting her leg, careful not to collide with Naruto's foot. He tapped the heel of her foot with his toe, waiting for her reaction.

The look in his fathomless dark eyes reflected lust for her and sex from her, right now, even if he had to take her in front of his best friend; her boyfriend. "Naruto could you move? I need to use the restroom." as if…

"Huh, oh, yeah sure, go ahead." he slid out of the booth and Sasuke followed with his eyes as her lithe form slipped out and watched the feminine sway of her hips as she made her way to the washroom. "Sakura-chan's been unusually quiet. I wonder if she's feeling all right, she didn't really want to come out tonight."

She more than likely did not want to come out for the same reason she never wanted to come out, Naruto made Wednesday night their own personal hell… bad habits and all. "I'm going to grab a smoke." Sasuke said with a shrug.

Naruto looked at Sasuke as if he had just activated the second level of the Ten no Juin all the while knowing that the mark was now as useless as a campfire in a rainstorm. "You know Sakura-chan would disapprove of that, she's a medic after all."

Sakura had scolded him for picking up the filthy habit, but it was not filthy to him anymore, in fact, it served to calm his nerves when he had to watch Uzumaki Naruto press lips against Sakura's own.

The irritation and fury he felt when Naruto kissed the woman who had once sworn her heart over to Sasuke was ludicrous. He really needed that cigarette now.

"Hn," Sasuke fished into his back pocket, pulled out the pack of cigarettes, and headed towards the exit. He pushed open the door the wind of early winter rushed against his face and ruffle his hair. The door swung shut behind him and he headed to the side of the building.

He hated winter, remembered the days he spent in a labyrinth of dungeons on those cold, cold days, when snow was fresh on the ground. Yeah… he hated winter.

He noted the couple headed out and leaned against the building as he watched them argue about… something. He placed the cigarette between his lips and fished for his lighter. The couple was gone and he was alone outside, with the wind and the stars speckled against the night sky, the same color as his eyes.

The flame caught on the end and burn brightly as he put the lighter back. Lowering his lashes, he took a deep breath of the tobacco, the end of the cigarette burning bright orange, pulled the cigarette away and crossed his arms as if in deep thought.

"Thinking about me?" he had not even heard her, looking at Sakura he noted that her hair had been unfastened from its clips and pins. He broke the cigarette in half and tossed it to the ground, letting out a breath of smoke.

"Who else haunts my dreams so relentlessly and rubs it in my face that she'd rather curl up in bed with an idiot every night than her first love." He had been her first love and she had been his, of course at twelve, thirteen and every other time he sure as hell had not acted as though she was. Oh, but she was vision if he ever did see one.

"You're the one who ran away from home." Sure, throw that back in his face. Of course, he had left; he was not thinking about her, he had been thinking of himself, selfishly always thinking about his needs, his wants, his goals, his desires… so much for claiming her as his first love… what did he know of love?

"Things to do, people to kill." she chuckled as if he had made a joke and he reached out for her as soon as she was close enough, holding her tightly against him, burying his face in the fragrant hollow of her neck. "You're cold," he mumbled against her skin, jonquil and strawberries and his own tobacco scent mixing in an oddly pleasant, comforting scent.

"Well, it's like fifty-five degrees out here. Besides, you were giving me that look." he grinned against her skin, nipping lightly, pulling the skin up between his teeth then releasing to soothe with his tongue.

"What look?" she tightened her arms around him. The caress of her fingers excited him. He never wanted her to stop; she was more soothing, and more comforting to his nerves than the cigarette could have ever been.

"You know what look," she chided, slipping her hands under the hem of his shirt, absorbing his heat to her cold hands. She breathed him in, could smell the smoke and the drink that he had taken into his body.

"No, what look and your hands are like ice." he placed another kiss to her shoulder, moving the fabric of her shirt away from her shoulder and used his other hand to press the hands under his shirt closer to his skin. She was cold, caused his skin to form goose bumps, but he wanted to warm her up, he could think of a better way to do it…

"That look you get when you have to have your way with me despite the consequences, I'm learning all your expressions." she said, playing along. He smiled again, pressing his cheek to hers; she was so fun, so excitably different.

"I can't help myself, the way you smell, the way you look." he rubbed a lock of her hair between his fingers and thumb, brought it to his nose and inhaled her scent. "I've never been this drunk before… I've never been drunk."

"You're bragging," she whispered, running her lips up and down his neck, the friction was euphoric. He chuckled, could not help it, she could not take a compliment.

He was not being so literal, he was not talking about the sake, not that he had ever been intoxicated because he had not, he was being metaphorical… drunk on love or as she so easily dismissed it as: lust.

"I meant drunk on your essence, the very image of you knocks me on my ass." he felt as though he had to tell her, as though he had to clue her in on the influence she had on him.

Maybe it would change her mind about being with Naruto; maybe she would stop being so stubborn for once and just… give up trying to be the perfect, dutiful girlfriend.

She was in love with him, any id- maybe not an idiot, but it certainly was clear to him, she was here, now in his arms, even though she was living with another man.

"Hmmm… just what I wanted to picture, Uchiha Sasuke, on his ass." she licked the shell of his ear and he shuddered, persistent ripples crawling along his spine, especially when she used her lips to tug on the lobe. He wanted her, wanted to feed the beast, take from her just the way he always did, always wanted to do.

"What are we going to do, the dobe's in there waiting, I want to fuck you, but not in a bathroom and not where you'll freeze your pretty little no-" she kissed him, her tongue invading his open mouth. He pulled her closer, but her hands managed to get from under his crushing embrace and grab the waistband of his pants.

All pervious thoughts fleeted from him in the movement of her full lips, coated with the alcohol she had been drinking, her eagerness, her dominance… exhilarating.

Fucking her was the only thing on his mind; he of course wanted more then what he would get. "You damn well better meet me tomorrow," he whispered into her mouth, she smiled against his lips as if that was her promise.

Sasuke maneuvered their bodies so that her legs were astride his hips, causing her to whimper when she felt his hardness pressing against her. Her fingers dug into his hair, trying to keep their lips from losing contact, he rocked against her, turning over so that he was pressing her hard against the wall.

He pressed her with his hips, moved his hands from behind her back, and molded them against the swell of her breasts. He watched her face contort as she whimpered in pleasure. With one hand between them, he slid his hand under her skirt and slipped his fingers under the center of her underwear.

She made a strangled sound as he fitted two fingers inside her tight sheath and caressed her clit with his thumb, smirking as she opened her mouth on a silent, breathy scream.

He found a slow, steady rhythm in which to work her, make her keep that silent scream going, he loved to see her struggle.

His other hand tightened around her thigh as he pushed her higher. Finally frustrated with her getting all the pleasure he tugged his pants open and shifted them down.

Too absorbed in her huff of pleasure she missed the groan of anguish that spilled from Sasuke's mouth as he gripped her hips and guided himself into her. She was tight, so wonderfully tight, it plagued his body with intense pleasure and it took all he had not to shout out.

At last, his body was alive with fire as she squeezed around him, her fingers, her knees pressing into his shoulders and hips, she rolled her hips down slowly and he shook his head, managing to form coherent words. "Not like this."

Relentlessly, Sasuke slammed into Sakura, lifted her shirt up and licked around her breasts, leaving pretty rosette marks here and there, just because he could. She rocked back against him, trying to keep time with his thrusts.

He pushed her down onto him and held her there, a torrent caught him and he spilled inside her, felt her climax, watched her latch her teeth into her bottom lip, trying to keep from screaming her head off, inwardly he was proud of his accomplishment of making her come, just as hard as he had.

Slowly, carefully she disentangled her legs from around his waist, he held her gently and slipped out, quickly fixing his pants as she set to work on her own clothes and fished in her skirt pocket for her clips and pins, setting to work on her hair the color of pink lemonade.

He watched her pull her hair away from her neck and cheek, her fingers dancing as she put her hair up. Her lips parted as she started to regulate her heart, her face flushed and her lashes lowering. He stared at her a little while longer before making up his mind.

He grabbed her face and kissed her with a kiss that screamed possessive. She held his hands and kissed him back, pressing her hips close to his and he jolted back, releasing her.

"I'm going home." he pulled out another cigarette, his last of the pack and bit the end and tossed the pack far aside, it landed in a puddle. She placed her hands on her hips as he pulled out his lighter, flicking the end until he got a flame going.

Just as he was about to light it she stole the cigarette from between his lips and threw it as far as she could, it landed somewhere in the brush. He turned angry eyes at her and she smiled scornfully at him. "It's a disgusting habit and it can kill you."

He grabbed her wrist in his hand and pulled her close with a forceful tug, his hand slipping over her glossy hair and behind her head. "Tell me you don't like kissing me after I've had a smoke." she did not say anything just yanked her hand free and kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing against him.

"Come back inside," she said, moving her lips against his as he tightened his arms around her, he broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against hers. Sasuke shook his head, closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath.

"Can't… you threw away my last cigarette and now I have to go buy some more, it's a hard habit to kick, kind of like kissing." he pressed his lips against hers and her fingers wove into his hair and she leaned back, cupping his face, keeping their lips together. He pulled her up so her feet were no longer touching the ground.

He finally set her down, stroking her cheek. "Get back in there before your boyfriend starts to really worry." it took a lot not to kiss her again, touch her again. He pulled back, took a few steps back, looking anywhere but at her. "I know I would."

She looked at her feet, he turned around, she turned around, she ran back the way she came, and he headed down the road under the lamplight of the streets. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and ran his thumb over the smooth body of the lighter.

Tomorrow would be better; he could have her as long as he wanted. Naruto had a so-called top-secret mission coming up that would undoubtedly keep him away for a month at least. In the end, he realized that he was still a cursed man, with or without the mark, with or without his late brother prowling the country.

Sakura was feeling the guilt as she made her way back over to where Naruto was, deep in conversation with their other friends. Ino and Shikamaru were there and so were Kiba, Hinata, and Tenten without Neji tonight.

She could never be a part of that group, not without feeling the guilt, if they ever- if Naruto ever- looked at her with disgust and distrust… if they ever found out what she had been doing behind his back. She just could not… "Sakura-chan!" she took in a deep breath and went over to them, Naruto had gotten her a refill.

She took the drink and thanked him. "Are you all right, Sakura-chan, you look flushed." Shy, gentle Hinata observed.

"Are you sick? Do you want to go home?" Naruto asked, worry evident in his spring blue eyes. She leaned her head against his shoulder and shook her head.

"No, lets stay here and have fun." she tried to convince him, she wasn't sick… she was just lonely, even with him, the only time she ever felt anything was when she was with Sasuke and… her stomach churned a little.

"Sasuke-teme went out for a smoke, I figured he didn't want you yelling at him, but everyone says they didn't see him outside, I guess he left."

"That's fine, we can just hang out." she assured him, lifting her head and taking a long sip of her drink.

"Sounds fine with me, he was just bringing me down." he laughed and started talking to Shikamaru and Kiba.

-Fin-


	5. Can't You Feel Me Wait In Pain

**Again I would like to remind everyone that I have no rights to the title Naruto or its characters. Again I would like to thank you all for your reviews, some of the reviews are very comforting to me and I would like to add them to my tea... ignore that last part.**

**A very special thank you to the following people:**

**xrose45623  
Kenya  
Wolfgirl21  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar  
HPBabe91  
sleepykittycat (I'm not really good with OC's finding a name for his son was chore enough, but if push comes to shove and I have to bring her up physically I'll give her a name and a face, right now she's just nameless and faceless.)  
Mel Isabelle  
Merridaine (sad, its an angst afterall.)  
Decorinne  
yukibozu  
SiennaEyes (It's like someone once told me, always make sure you describe the characters as if they're being introduced for the first time.)**

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_You need me less than I need you..._

He lay back against the headboard, propped up by the pillows. His eyes closed, his hands folded over his stomach. He opened his eyes and lowered his head when she started kicking his legs just below his knees.

She was wearing incredibly short shorts and a plain white racerback tank top, her pink hair scooped up in a messy bun and she was folding a magazine under itself. These were the times he decided he loved her best. With her face free of all make-up, displaying her natural beauty and casually dressed.

She was breathtakingly beautiful, he wanted to swim in her for hours, he would, just as soon as the moon replaced the sun and the stars scattered the black sky. He loved her… all of her.

The sun was just starting to go down, but nighttime had always been theirs. "What's that?" he asked with mild interest, she started to lift it off her stomach and flip it around so he could get a look at the contents of the magazine.

"Vacation spots… we should go on a vacation," she said, turning the magazine around to show a pleasant enough resort, with a couple lovingly embracing one another in front of the hot springs. What idealism this magazine contained within its glossy pages. Such things were not for shinobi.

How he would love to take her away from boring old Konoha, somewhere away where they could be together, no one to tie them down. No boyfriend on her part and him without a wife or son… not to say he did not love his son, he did, with his entire being.

Sakura should have been his son's mother not some other woman's he happened to sleep with to get around the fact that coming back to Konohagakure didn't mean Sakura would be waiting at the gates for his return forever. There was no use wallowing in the 'what should have been' they were with each other now… it was time to close their eyes and forget obligations.

He took hold of her ankles and she set the magazine aside on the mattress as he parted her legs pulling her a bit closer as he crawled over to her, pressing flat against her. He took her hands in his and brought them up over her head. "Close your eyes." She did and he kissed her cheek, slowly he moved to kiss the other one.

His lips brushed against her forehead like the tip of a butterfly's wing, he dragged his lips down the bridge of her nose and pressed a kiss against her mouth. She lifted her lips to meet his in a sensual dance.

Kissing her was like breathing, automatic, something his body did so it would not die. He had no thoughts when it came to touching her, no staggering indecision like with the other woman in his life.

Sakura was his… sanity, and from the moment they had been together, it had been deeper than marriage, more permanent than anything words or paper could bind.

Her arms slid over his back, his shoulders, and the smooth tautness of his skin. He dragged his lips down to her chin, sliding lower still.

He was at the collar of her shirt when he curled his fingers around the hem. "Stop, I changed my mind." they sat up together, her shirt still in his hands. She never did stop being annoying, even now she was frustrating him and not in the good way.

"What's wrong now?" There was always something wrong, but she was never strong enough to throw him out, lock the door and never invite him back. He reached for her hands when she slapped his away from her shirt.

"Everything's wrong, this whole thing is wrong. How long do you think I can keep this up, forever? If I can't have all of you then I don't want any of you." He brought her hands up to his mouth and kissed the wrists, the knuckles, and the fingers, pressing them to his forehead.

"You do have all of me, Sakura." she laughed and shook her head.

"No, I don't… because you fuck her." she slipped off the bed, but he held fast to her hands. He could not break the contact; it was not sex alone that kept him coming back. She was his sanity, his reason for not jumping off a cliff into a litter of jagged rocks… if he could find such a place.

"Only when she asks…" Her anger melted and she stood there shock evident on her face, her lips twisted up in a mocking smile and she laughed, in short bursts, she let her head fall back, her hair spilling long over her shoulders.

"You are unbelievable. I just don't believe the things that come out of your mouth." He got off the bed and wrapped his arms around her.

"I didn't… not like that. I didn't mean it like that." She would not hold him, she just stood tense in his arms, and he squeezed her a little tighter as if she would disappear if he released her. "We do this every time Sakura, put me out of my misery, are you punishing me for what I did twelve years ago?"

She finally touched him; she finally wrapped her arms around him and pressed him a little closer and he could feel her body shake as tears rolled down her cheeks and onto his bare chest. "No. I am doing this because you have a son… I'm doing this because I don't deserve to be happy with you, look at me… taking something that belongs to another woman."

"At night it's just us Sakura… close your eyes, I'll take you on that vacation." she scoffed and closed her eyes, letting her head tilt back, he cupped her face and pressed his mouth to hers in a chaste, pleasant kiss that made his skin sing when she kissed back, digging her fingernails into his back. The pain shot up his back, but he ignored it, he lifted her off the ground and lowered her back onto the bed.

"It's just us, right?"

"Just us." he agreed lifting her shirt up over her head, he cupped her face and kissed her again with another chaste kiss. With his free hand, he started to pull down her shorts and underwear, she lifted her hips as he did, her arms going around him as she lowered her hips and he discarded the rest of the clothes onto the bed. He kicked off his own pants, removed his boxers and climbed onto her.

He was tender and slow, just the way she wanted, he did not jam his tongue in her mouth, he did not touch her carelessly and he did not take her as he so wanted to. He gave her chaste kisses and traced her bottom lip with his tongue.

Shyly her tongue met his and drew his tongue into her mouth. Her fingers brushed back his hair from his cheek and she opened her legs a little more, slowly he pressed against her, slowly he entered her. Her lashes lowered onto her cheekbones, wet from the tears she had shed a little while ago.

He kissed each eyelid only just, her lips parted and she exhaled as he sunk inside her, willing himself not to pound into her. She lifted her lips and his eyes rolled back, quickly he shut his eyes a burst of color following, his demons screaming at him for not fucking her like a lunatic.

She lifted her hips again and he pinned her down onto the bed. "Wait, wait… I don't want to rush this." She turned her head, cheek against the pillows, tears pooling in the hollow of her nose and eye. He kissed her and moved up, she met him with a slow roll of her hips and a low keening moan.

Her fingers pressed against the welts on his back from their last encounter. He was nothing more than a little boy inside, crying out for attention, it was a side of himself that he always tried to kill, but he felt it more than ever when he was with her, like this, coming apart.

How could he need her so much, like this after so many years apart, after so many years of putting her down as well as secretly wanting to keep her from the pain of the world, the pain that was drawn to him like a moth to the flame. He pressed his cheek against hers, lowering his lips to her shoulder.

She made another sound as if she were in pain; he pulled up, supporting his weight with his elbows. "What, did I hurt you, Sakura?" she opened her eyes and met his worried gaze and she opened her mouth, a strangled sound passing through with her words.

"Yes…" he stilled and she shook her head fiercely, gripping his hair in her fists and pulling him down to her mouth. "No, please… I'm sorry." She lifted her hips quicker against his, catching his lip between her teeth. He kissed her when she let go and wrapped his arms around her, rolling onto his back so that she was straddling his hips, sitting up.

With one hand he reached up and caressed her face, holding her back from ending their contact too soon, he wanted to draw this out as long as he could.

He was so sorry, sorry for everything he had ever done to her. For turning her into a woman who felt, she deserved anything but happiness.

She came down for a kiss, he felt what she felt, and she stopped rocking against him, her fingertips bruising his chest. He clenched his jaw as she opened her mouth, she pressed a little harder and she came and he followed, he pulled her closer, riding out the wave until she went limp and fell to the side, burying her face in the other pillow.

Slowly he let her go and lifted the blanket over their bodies, he pressed close to her, smelling the flowers and fruits of her perfume mingled with sweat and sex.

He kissed the back of her damp neck and wound his arms around her. "If I could do it all again, I would've shown you how much I appreciated you and your steady love. I can't… apologize enough."

She did not say anything, just closed her eyes and pressed into him, he tightened his arms around her. He pressed his cheek against hers and stroked her flat belly; he could feel her smile and the shake of her body as she laughed a little. This was one of his discoveries.

She was still a mystery to him and he was determined to figure it all out, no matter how long it took. If only she could stop blaming herself for what transpired between them, it was his fault, not hers.

He knew he was wasting her time, knew he was the one tormenting her, but he did not know how to let her go, he shared her with the utmost resentment. Yes, he was jealous, he was jealous a lot, but it was not as if he was not playing his part. She hated sharing him too, made it so clear to him.

To end this relationship he had to meet her halfway, when she tired to end the relationship he was suppose to agree and refuse to see her this way, he tried, he did. He brought a child into a loveless, shotgun marriage, _she_ was in love with him, but he couldn't… not when he loved Sakura with all the passion of his person.

He was an Uchiha, a stubborn lot as he recalled.

"Shouldn't… you know… go?" he kissed her cheek, still stroking her tummy.

"Sun's not up." he whispered, he did not want to go, not when this felt right, not when he belonged in her bed. How different would things be if he had never left Konoha, she would probably be happy, they would be together and she would fight him for different things… not for having a wife and child.

Sakura pressed her hands against his as the continuously stroked slow patterns that made her laugh softly. "Mm… that feels nice… are you hungry? I could make you something."

"No… I just want to lay here forever." she rolled over so that they were face to face, he looked down at her and she reached out and kissed him on the mouth. His large hands cupped her face and she nibbled on his bottom lip, her legs lifting up and resting on his thigh, he caught her under the knee and pressed her closer.

Her tongue slipped inside his mouth and explored vigorously, she pushed him back until he was on his back, her fingers curling around his hair as she pressed her lips harder against his.

Sasuke massaged the back of her thighs, pressing them to make her clench, she moaned into his mouth and he sat up and secured her on his lap, meeting her tongue stroke for stroke.

Sakura would not runaway with him, he had asked her more than once, but she refused him. So he decided that if chained to a life he didn't want in Konoha was the only way to have her, then in Konoha he would stay, if only just to have her.

He brushed his lips against the side her neck and she laughed, pulling back a little, her fingers curling around the back of his neck, her eyes fluttering open. Apparently, this was another of his discoveries. He smiled and did it again and she laughed again, her body shaking against his.

Sasuke lifted her and lowered her down onto the mattress, in the direction of the footboard. He kissed her mouth the longest and then began sliding down lower.

He kissed her stomach, his fingers evoking little bursts of laughs she tried to repress, he grinned against her skin, looked up to see that she was gripping the bed sheets, her chest rising and falling ferociously, saw her rise and lower of her throat as she swallowed hard.

Sakura was nervous… it was strange, she had done this for him more than once, but she seemed to shy away when he wanted to give her the same pleasure. He pushed her legs up and she bent her knees, her toes curling, he could hear her breath hitch, he touched her, ran a finger down the center of flesh between her thighs.

Slowly, with his thumb, he stroked her and parted her, she made a sound of distress and he made a low hiss through his teeth. "Easy…"

"Sasuke-kun…" she whined and he kissed each inner thigh as he continued to stroke her until his fingers was slick, he pushed in and she jumped a little. Her leg slid down as her heel dug into the mattress, he pulled out only to push in again and she made another moan as he pulled out to stroke the bud.

"Does it feel good?" he asked, kissing her thigh again. She was having a hard time trying to find her voice; she nodded and then opened her mouth letting a broken 'yes' out. He smiled; it was not every day he was able to have her again, he was usually dressed and leaving by now, but she instigated and he complied.

He petted her before parting her again and she stilled beneath him, her body tense, the muscles of her legs and stomach flexed and smooth, he pressed a kiss to her and she choked on a cry at the sudden contact. His tongue dragged up and back down, swirling inside the crevice, so exquisite he had to taste her again.

She kept taut poise; he heard her breathing, softly agitated, and his own, and his heart, and the sound of night birds singing. His body was a firestorm set to kindle, but he continued pleasuring her until she gasped his name.

When she said his name in that needy tone, he felt relief. He heard her say his name again, could hear the agonizing cries from her lips. "I'm here." he assured her, moving up until his face was level with hers. He thumbed away the tears and kissed the corner of her mouth.

Sakura clung to him as someone drowning would. He pushed until he was back within her warm body and his senses sung out once again as she clenched against him repeatedly. He could feel the chains around his heart and soul fall away- wildly, slowly. "Don't stop." he would not, he promised.

Uchiha Sasuke… for the first time in his life was a slave… he was Haruno Sakura's slave. It was a revelation, a strange one, but the truth all the same… who would have thought that the same girl he called weak so long ago would have the means to enthrall him the way she did now.

"I love you so much." he stopped… he loved when she said that, he could feel and hear the pain, he pulled her up so that she was sitting atop him and they moved as one. She pressed her face in his neck, hiccupping. He held her tighter, laughing at the random convulsive gasps induced by her crying.

Too late- he took her face in his hands, holding her lips to his so she could not amended it or take it back. Those words belonged to him now.

She loved him.

He closed the book; there was no room for discussion. He loved her too. He gave her everything, her second climax and she gave him his in the wake of her own and he collapsed, backwards so that she was sprawled over him. He could not move, could not even lift his arms. "That was-" he could not think of a single word, had a million.

Amazing, breathtaking, stunning, out of this world, heaven-sent, wonderful… but he finally found the strength to move and he settled for kissing her instead. "You should take a shower before you go, don't forget your clothes." she managed to roll off him and cover herself in the blankets, closing her eyes to sleep.

He kissed her cheek and whispered goodnight before he left her, it was always asking too much to stay the whole night, just until sunrise.

-Fin-


	6. At Sweet Night, You Are My Own

**It would appear the last chapter was the winning chapter, everyone seemed to feel their pain in that chapter so I'm hoping to do it again in the next chapter after this one.**

**I want to thank you all for your reviews in trade for my stories:**

**Sakara's Undying Love (Well, it wouldn't be angst if he did that and it would also defeat the reason he married her in the first place, though technically yes, yes he could.)  
thexpariah (I'm sure, sorry. I could write another story where they have a fairytale ending if you like.)  
Wolfgirl21  
yukibozu  
xrose45623 (I'm thinking maybe four or five more chapters and then I'm taking this story off its life-support.)  
HPBabe91  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar  
xCatherinex  
Kenya  
sleepykittycat (You always give me the best reviews I always enjoying reading your reviews)  
Laura-chan (If the last chapter made you cry wait until the one after this one, I'm angst-ridden this week.)  
koolerthancool  
Decorinne  
L.C. Johnson (Thank you I also believe that Sasuke and Sakura are a tragedy, though I do want them together so badly.)  
Merridaine  
Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90  
Sirona of Arabia  
kattylin  
Sasuke0623 (No, don't cry… okay cry, that was the intention. Pure genius? Be careful, my head swells pretty quickly I might not be able to fit out my bedroom door.)**

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_I'm so afraid of waking, please don't shake me..._

Uchiha Sasuke made his way down the pristine, empty hallways, the smell of disinfectants overpowering. His thoughts now all jumbled and the first time in his life, he could not think clearly. He was a father… new to the game… it was what he wanted right… he had a wife… he had a boy… a son, his son.

When he held the child for the scant few minutes, he thought, how could he love someone so much when he just met that someone? He stopped and looked up, fidgeting his hands in his pockets. Damn it… he was trying his hardest not to think of her and there she was.

He was deeply, insanely, desperately in love with a woman who was not his wife. A woman, who adored him as a child, loved him hopelessly as a young girl. A woman whose love he had snubbed and thrown aside for a chance of becoming more powerful than any shinobi.

Just for a chance to kill his brother. He thought he had never been happier, he could go home and finally be what Sakura needed.

He was a fool for thinking he could just come back to Konoha, collect the shards of her broken heart, and have her love him again. Instead when he returned she and Naruto were clearly in a relationship, a little like a stack of cards, but one carefully set up so it stayed up, unless he came a knocked it down with a sweep of his arm.

Sasuke was angry, frustrated and… scared, he could hardly keep his emotions under his thumb, most assuredly someone was laughing at him, so much for the great Uchiha… as cold as ice, as hard as stone. He felt feverish, almost sick. "Sakura…"

Astounding, his voice was level, his nerves were on the fritz but he seemed cool and collected, just the man they had all come to expect from him. She said nothing. He could not look away from her eyes.

He had never noticed the exact color of her eyes before- the dark green rim around the irises, the flecks of silvery jade paling the viridian, making them as changeable from sage to emerald. "I heard… congratulations." that was it… was that all she had for him, an insubstantial felicitation?

The smile playing on her lips was an illusion, she wasn't happy at all, he could see it in those beautiful eyes, he broke her heart so many times, had made her cry so many times that she no longer had tears to shed and no more fragments of her heart for him to crush.

"You're a father."

"I won't be very good; I don't know the first thing about kids… except how to scare them off." A little gulp of laughter escaped her. Inwardly he smirked; he knew he could get a laugh out of her.

"That's not true at all. You wanted to restore your clan and no one becomes a parent with a handbook, you will be fine, if anyone can do it, you can, Sasuke-kun, you are the Uchiha after all." she reminded him. He moved closer, holding out his hands.

"Thank you." she smiled, accepting his hands.

Touching her was a mistake. He should have known that. All he meant to do with brush his lips lightly, unpretentiously over her fingers.

Instead, he turned the palms over and pressed a kiss into each. She freed one hand, not snatching it, sliding it from his loose grasp to caress his hair.

If it had stopped there, it would have been all right. However, it did not stop. Sasuke bent his head and kissed her. Sakura caught her breath and tried to turn her face away. Sasuke sought her mouth blindly, smirked when her lips opened to him, slowly, delicately.

She tasted of dango and mints, an odd combination, but he liked it. He liked everything that was hers. He gathered her close- carefully as if she were as fragile as a butterfly's wing. Stupid notion; she wrapped her arms around his ribs and held him fast, kissing him so deeply his knees gave out.

Sakura tried to balance them both, failed, they lurched against the bare white wall. Sasuke braced himself against the small rise of wood that ran across to give the wall some decorative feature, then running his other hand down the curves of her body, coaxing her to lift her thigh so her knee crooked around his hip.

She let out a gasp as her hand released him, fumbling at the door and pushing it open. With all their dumb luck, the room was empty, there was a window and a bed and a lock. He slammed her against the door and fumbled for the lock, lifted her up and swung around.

He staggered to the bed and fell beneath her. All the bitter hurt became sweet ache, it was so unfamiliar to him and it was all hers. She shook her hair and it came loose, sweeping across her cheeks and through his eager fingers. She captured his face between her hands, never relinquishing his mouth.

Sasuke drew his head back, about to ask questions, how to touch her, where to touch, the best way about bringing her all the pleasure she surely deserved. Her eyes knocked his brain clean of all that.

Passionate, beautiful and full of love for him, despite everything and anything he put her through. How could she… how could she still love him with all that history between them? Then he said the words he never said to anyone in his life.

"Love me. Please. I _need_ you to love me, Sakura." She turned her face away; it was the worst hurt she could ever give him. "Please!" his voice came out desperate as he pressed his face into that warm hollow of her shoulder that was scented with jonquil and strawberries, trembling as no woman had ever made him do.

A small, choked sound left her throat. Sakura dug both hands into his hair and pulled his head up for a relentless kiss. He did not think she had it in her, but he had seen her strength and her quick-temper and still he did not think she had it in her to use all that aggression on him.

He bunched the cloth of her shirt at the hem and tore it up over her head, letting it fall behind his head, listened to it rustle and fall to the floor. He stroked her back, felt the chest bindings and sighed, too many clothes… they were wearing too many clothes.

He pushed his finger under the material of the bindings and pulled until he had the cloth in his fist, he yanked until it loosen and came apart in his hands, her breasts fell out and he pushed forward to feel them against him. Her hands were pulling at his shirt and he let go only to get the damn thing off his body.

He rolled her over and began sliding her combination of skirt and shorts off her long, shapely legs. He parted her bent legs and took in the sight of her, from her pink mess of hair, to her eyes screwed shut, down to her rapidly expanding and contracting chest, the part of her that would join them together down to her curled toes.

Sasuke watched as she ran her fingers through her hair before he started removing his pants. Stripped down to his boxers he sat back and pulled her up so that he had her pressed up against him just the way he liked. He was kissing her neck and her jaw behind her ear.

So many needs filled by just being in her arms, she shoved him down, straddling his hips she pressed on his shoulders before attacking his chest with nips and kisses and flicks of her tongue. She got him free of the constricting material.

He sat up as she guided herself onto him, allowing him to stretch her and fill her and his eyes fell shut, barely able to contain a shout. He wanted to pull on her hair and bring their foreheads together.

For all the ferocity running through his blood and hers, their actions were surprisingly tranquil. After joining as one, she held his face between her hands again and he stared up into her eyes as she leaned in towards his mouth, her body moving slowly as she rose, only to lower herself.

There was eagerness there in her deep green eyes mixed with something he could not identify, something fragile. He wondered if his eyes reflected that look of eagerness laced with fear, wanting, afraid to want, needing, afraid to need.

The brush of skin against his chest elated him, just knowing she was one with him in this intimate, ageless dance of two conjoining bodies and souls. He could not explain and he liked it that way, not having to explain to her what she did to him, for him.

Her mouth hovered over his, their lips touching, delicate as dandelion seeds, white and fluffy, blown by a warm summer breeze, touching, not touching, sliding along each other, gliding away. He was dizzy with anticipation and her sliding over his length.

Grabbing the back of her neck he crushed her lips against his, prying open her mouth with his lips and tongue. He caressed over everything inside her mouth. She tasted delicious to him. Holding her neck and her waist, he moved them so that she was underneath him this time.

Long, knowing fingers pushed back his hair from his face and they met in another, sloppy kiss. This time he thrust inside her harder, quicker. Her mouth opened wide on a soundless scream and she turned her face from his, lifting and biting on his shoulder, piercing his back with her nails.

Sasuke could feel the hot liquid of blood seep out from under the broken skin. He could feel the blood and her nails scrape across his spine but he could not feel the pain. He thrust every inch of himself into her as hard and as fast as he could.

Teeth sank deeper into his shoulder and his breathing came sharp and hard, while she whimpered under him as though he were biting her instead. She exhaled sharply and he slammed his body down on hers, the sound of flesh on flesh became a constant, wet hammering.

Finally, she released him, he could feel the skin throbbing, a sting following, blood seeping out as if a wolf tore open his shoulder. There would be a bruise and scabs, no doubt.

She called out his name while her body tightened around his, squeezing, she shuddered underneath him, her body smashing against the mattress, not from his body slapping against hers, but from her orgasm.

Sakura was trying not to scream out, Sasuke kissed her to help muffle her cry and he held still as her name came out as a mantra and he kept still until she stopped moving about and then he let himself drop, rolling off her and onto his back. By whatever strength she had left, she used it to caress his chest with the back of her hand.

Sasuke took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you, for having trust in me."

"I don't have trust in you…" she rolled away and he followed her roll, pulling her back against his chest and using the hand of the arm that was pinning her to him to cup her between her legs. He could feel how warm and wet she was from his and her climax.

"You said…" he heard her gasp as he was already pushing his fingers into the sore and raw opening of her body, stroking her and making her spine bow.

"I don't have enough faith; if I did I would have waited…" she panted as he found that highly sensitive area deep within her. "Waited," she gulped; "a little longer for you to come back home." she screamed, not loud, just a short burst that made him excited. "Oh, harder, like that… don't stop."

Whatever she asked, he would do as long as it was not her refusal, he could not go on without her and this… this fucked up, twisted relationship they were reluctant to have, but not enough to quit. She came again and he smiled, rubbing his cheek against hers as her body went lax.

Sliding his fingers out, he maneuvered to wrap the blanket around their quickly cooling bodies, he held onto her, listening to her pant until her breathing was even. He should be getting back, his 'wife' was probably waking up and would want to see him, and she did after all, have his son so many hours ago, intense labor and all.

"I still love you, Sasuke-kun… I am sorry I did not wait… I didn't think you were ever coming back home." She was crying now. No, tears did not fall from her eyes, but he could hear the shake and the sorrow in her voice. She turned to look into his eyes, he kissed her, because he had to, wanted to, needed to.

Lips still connected, Sasuke pulled Sakura up with him and he wrapped both arms securely around her as she pulled him closer, her hands flat against the back of his neck and shoulders. He needed her and it was a strange thing to acknowledge because he had never needed anyone before.

She broke the kiss and pressed her forehead against his undamaged shoulder and turned her head, he kissed the side of her head as her fingers met the shoulder smeared his blood. "I didn't think you were that mad," he said playfully.

"I was not mad."

"So it felt that good?"

"Sasuke-kun…" she chided, looking away from him, he lifted her hand and brushed her knuckles with his lips as he had intended to do earlier, "Let me heal it." He shrugged; she was a good damn medic.

He had to admit, to himself if no one else, that it was his favorite mark; he would miss it when it was gone. He tried to kiss her again, but she ducked away, made a grab for her discarded clothes, and began redressing.

Sasuke watched her, fascinated, if only he could get inside her mind and know what she was thinking, maybe he could figure out what he could… nothing. He knew it, she knew, hell everyone knew that unless he could go back in time there was not a damn thing he could do to amend his wrongs. "I'm-"

"I have to go, my parents are waiting." she cut into his apology and threw his clothes over to him. He started dressing too, nodding; he had 'family' waiting for him as well. "You're going to be a great father Sasuke-kun, you've changed, and I think for the better."

Her hand came out to caress his cheek and then a look crossed her face as if it were forbidden for her to touch him and she started to draw her hand back from his cheek. Touching each other always seemed to lead to sex; she wanted to know why they could not be friends, just friends?

"I changed because of you, because I want to be what you need." he reached out, taking hold of her wrist. She looked back at him, that lie of a smile on her perfect lips.

"A line best saved for the mother of your child, I have to go." Then she was gone, just like that as if she had been an illusion all along.

-Fin-


	7. Goodbye My Lover

**All right I know, you hate me, I hate me, I cried a little writting this, of course I didn't think I'd dish out as much as I did for this chapter, I guess it was just the atmosphere for the story.**

**Once again you all deserve my gratitude for your wonderful reviews that keep me updating:**

**kattylin  
TentenPanda  
HPBabe91 (Feel the power of angst, I heart you too for your reviews they help with the updating)  
Wolfgirl21 (That's not true at all... there's nothing I want more than for Sasuke to whisk Sakura on a white... okay not to that extreme)  
Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90  
Sirona of Arabia  
sleepykittycat (Oh My God, so was I... well, I was listening to the CD Moulin Rouge! I was at the second Nature boy, that part where she whispers 'I love you' just kills me. I like that: Passionate ninja sex. And just to clear it up some, its going between past, present, past)  
koolerthancool (I actually felt that hug, my shoulders just mushed in, they are together… just not publicly)  
Kenya (Everyone does)  
Baka Kunoichi  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar**

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When both our lives are going in separate directions…

Sasuke put his son to bed, the boy was protesting that he was not sleepy at all; that the sun was still out and that he was too old to be going to bed so early.

Yes, the sun was still out and yes, he was older now, but rules were still that he went to bed at six on the dot. Sasuke pulled the covers up and sat down on the bed. Shoichi had a petulant pout and his arms crossed over his chest.

His son was defiant, but at least he didn't have any brothers to contend with, Sasuke thought that Shoichi really wanted siblings, someone he could play with, fight with… but Sasuke hardly touched the woman a piece of paper claimed to be his wife.

He felt bad and sorry. "Hey, look at me." Shoichi refused and Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Letting his hand fall back onto his lap, he used his other hand to ruffle his son's dark locks. "If you go to bed now, tomorrow we'll spar, just you and me."

That caught Shoichi's attention, midnight black eyes met obsidian and small hands pulled on Sasuke's wrist. "Promise?" he asked, hope in his eyes and voice. Sasuke nodded, "And will you help me with my Gokakyu no Jutsu, I can almost do it." Sasuke's eyes widen and then he chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, I promise, tomorrow, now stop complaining and go to sleep." Shoichi nodded, rolled onto his side and closed his eyes to go to sleep. Sasuke switched off the lamp and headed out of the room. He closed the door, leaving it ajar and headed into the kitchen.

She was sleeping at the table, her face in the fold of her arms over the papers spread over the tabletop and her long black hair fanned out around her. Sasuke looked at her for a moment and then headed for the front door, hands in his pockets.

He stood at the gates of the Uchiha mansion and toyed with the idea of going to Sakura for at least an hour. So many things played into why he should just stay home- home, was this really a home? There was a father, a mother, a wife, a husband, and a child, a son… he always wanted a son, he always wanted to restore the greatness that was the Uchiha clan and yet…

This was not how he wanted it.

He didn't think that Sakura would come to mean more to him, more than a friend, he didn't think she would become so beautiful that all he saw was her, he didn't think, he never thought and that was his problem, he always went headlong into situations without thinking things through.

He looked back at mansion; the only light on was the kitchen light where he left his sleeping wife.

Sasuke walked down the half-empty streets of Konoha, the shops were closing up and people were heading home from the long day. He walked through the streets like a ghost, hardly getting any recognition, maybe a glance here and there, but not much else.

He was one of Konoha's many great weapons, but now they had his son or they hoped to have his son. The Kekkei Genkai had not yet awakened in his son, but he still had time, Sasuke's Sharingan had not wakened until he was twelve.

Looking up at the darkening sky, he saw the first star; it winked like a diamond against a dusky blue canopy. He lowered his gaze and stopped in his tracks. Sakura and Naruto, they were leaning against her front door. One arm wrapped around her waist while his right hand cradled the back of her head.

Her arms draped over his shoulders, holding loosely to him as she relined against the door. Their lips pressed together, moving slowly against one another. Sasuke watched as she opened her mouth for him, the tip of their tongues touching before his tongue moved in more, caressing hers as he pressed a little firmer against her body.

Sasuke looked shocked for a good few minutes before his knuckles cracked loudly in the tightening of his fists and his brows creased and his jaw clenched, his lip lifting the way an animal's did as a warning when it felt threatened.

Naruto pulled back, looking at Sakura's tranquil face, her eyes closed and her lips parted, her breathing a little uneven. He pushed her hair back from her cheeks and he kissed the corner of her eye. He whispered something in her ear and when Naruto leaned back, Sasuke could see her faint smile and she nodded as she reached her hand for the doorknob.

Sasuke watched as Naruto retreated, heading in the opposite direction, never seeing Sasuke. Sakura stumbled backwards into her house and closed the door behind her. Sasuke stepped forward, the moon made its appearance, nothing but a white crescent in the sky above.

He waited until Naruto disappeared around the corner before Sasuke entered her home uninvited. He closed the door behind him and looked down at her sandals; he removed his boots and stepped into the living room. The light was on in her bedroom and bathroom.

Sasuke moved to the sound of running water and he looked in to see her brushing her teeth, in exchange for her day clothes she wore a white chemise with a pink ribbon running through the top near the straps of her slip.

She was beautiful with all the colors of spring: pink, green, white, rose-gold. She mesmerized him in everyway, keeping him in a dazed state, he felt drunk, like his head was all foggy.

Sakura bent over the sink and spit, she brought the cup of water to her lips, swished, and spit again before emptying the cup and wiping her mouth with a facecloth. It was not enough; he did not think it was nearly enough to wash off Naruto's presence.

He cleared his throat and she turned, a little startled. "Sasuke-kun, you startled me." she folded her arms about her as if she were self-conscious that she was in nightgown. He shook his head, and stepped inside the bathroom and turned the water off.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her, she stumbled forward and he pressed her against him, she looked up at him as he looked down into her eyes, his brows still furrowed. She asked him what was wrong.

Sasuke closed his eyes, brought his hands up to frame her face, pressed his thumbs to her lips, and started rubbing them across her mouth, as there was something still on her lips. She looked confused and he opened his eyes again, he looked irritated. "Fuck, Sakura, don't ever let me see you kiss that dobe again, I can't stand it."

She blinked up at him with her doe-like eyes and he pressed his lips to hers as if to rid Naruto's kiss from her mouth. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth when he pulled away, dragging his lips from hers to her cheek and over her ear. "Sasuke-kun," He traced her curves with one hand over the soft cotton fabric of her nightgown.

"What did he say to you?" she blinked, it took her a second to realize he was still talking about Naruto.

"Nothing," she insisted, that was a lie, but then so was everything in her life. It did not matter what Naruto had said to her, not to her at least, it was trivial.

"He had to say something, to make you smile like that." She pulled away and their eyes met, she was surprised to see that his eyes were blood red with three specks of black in each eye. Was he that mad about seeing Naruto kiss her and whisper to her that his Sharingan just automatically activated?

He leaned that painfully handsome face over hers, the long forelocks of his ebony hair tickling her cheeks. He cupped her face and pressed his mouth to hers, shielding the color of his eyes with long, dark, thick lashes.

Sasuke kissed her hard enough to bruise her, force her mouth open and he took advantage of her open mouth and slipped inside. Sakura could feel the muscles of his mouth, jaw, and his neck working as he held her tightly, exploring her, possessing her.

His kiss was a metaphorical fire that ate at the trees of a forest until it no longer needed the fuel and seemed to take on a life of its own.

She held his face, pushed him back, and pulled away, panting. She saw his ruby red eyes and swallowed. "You were spying." he moved one hand and pressed his finger to the space between her eyes, soothing his finger over.

"You're angry with me."

"You're spying on me, I have every right to be angry with you." she was trying not to frown; she could feel the tension between her brows.

"Not spying… chance observation. You seemed to be enjoying yourself." there was a hint of spite in his low velvety voice. "Sorry, I don't like sharing you." The apology was insincere, he was just trying to show off how pissed he was about witnessing such an intimate kiss between a man he thought to be less in everything.

"Oh and I do?" there was a wicked grin parting his beautiful mouth. She could tell there were questions he wanted to ask, but did not want answered, did not like what the answers might be. She could take care of that grin on his face, she had a power over him and she was aware of it.

She slid her hands under his shirt and touched him, up his flat muscular stomach to his smooth, hairless chest. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders under the indigo shirt; it was as though blue and black were his favorite colors in whatever hue.

He closed his eyes and a soft moan escaped him as she kissed the center of his throat, felt him swallow. She licked up and under his jaw, felt his head tilt to one side, exposing his throat, giving her more access to work her magic.

The smell of him intoxicated her, she could smell soap and aftershave, cool, crisp, clean… it made her knees weak, he had a power over her to and he knew it. Her hands slid over his shoulders, his back, pulling him against her. They kissed, her mouth opening to him again; her grip on him loosened and he fell, in a slow glide.

He was on his knees, moving his hands to her calves and moved his hands up, rubbing her legs and her thighs until he was at her hips. His fingers hooked into her undergarments and he pulled them down to her ankles, she stepped out of them, kicking them across the smooth floor.

He kept his eyes on her as he took hold of her chemise. He pulled it down until the straps moved off her shoulders and then it was all a matter of a few tugs before the chemise came off her body completely.

She closed her eyes as he pressed his hands against the small of her back, pressed a wet kiss to each hipbone and her stomach above the navel before standing and stepping back enough to lift his shirt and slide it up over his head in one fluid motion.

Sakura stared, knew she was staring, she had seen it all before and yet she could not help but stare, she watched as he worked on the button and fly of his pants. He was beautiful with faint traces of scars he never had properly tended.

Sasuke left the clothes on and outstretched an arm to Sakura, she stepped into his embrace and he tucked her against him. He kissed her ear, lifted her, and carried her to the bedroom just across the way. He lowered her onto the mattress and she scooted back, her knees pressed against her bare breasts.

He finally removed his pants and boxers. She looked away and he chuckled and moved onto the bed. "How do you mange to stay so modest after all we do?" she shrugged, meeting his eye. "Don't I…" he kissed her neck, brushing her hair aside "…make you feel good?"

His hand cupped her breast while the other pushed her legs down so he had better access. Her arms came up and around him as he stroked her with the pad of his thumb, making her nipple tighten and rise. He pressed a kiss to the erect nipple then swirled his tongue around the areola.

Pushing him closer, Sakura leaned back; he held her fast so she did not fall completely to the mattress. He slid his hand over her side to her back and up her thigh until he could feel her, not wet, not yet. When he pushed a finger into her, her breath hitched and he smirked, kissing his way up and stopped at her neck.

Sasuke had not noticed it before but now when he was so close and so aware of everything her he could smell the new fragrance. Vanilla and jasmine replaced jonquil and strawberries. He kissed her neck, under her jaw, her cheek and pressed his mouth back to her ear to whisper, "Why the change in perfumes?"

She was trying to focus on the question, but he was not helping, stroking her, slipping inside from time to time and creating a haze of pleasure. Yes, he made her feel good. He made her feel so good that she often considered his 'let's be together'. The 'why they shouldn't' factor always stopped her from just giving up and giving in.

"It was a gift from Naru-." his hand suddenly slapped over her mouth and he was pressing her against the bed, straddling her. He shook his head and replaced his hand with his mouth. She kissed him back as he deepened the kiss as if he were trying to make her forget everything but him and his kiss… it was working. "Sasuke-kun." she gasped as she felt him bring her hand to the smooth length of him.

"Touch me, Sakura." he licked a slow line along the edge of her cheek then brushed his lips along hers. Her hand slid over the slick hardness of Sasuke, he half-collapsed against her as she caressed him. He drew away enough for her to move her hand. She closed her eyes and he touched her face, gaining her attention. "No, look at me."

She moved her hand along him, up and down, applying the right amount of pressure to let him feel that she was touching him without hurting him. His mouth opened on a heavy pant and he knocked her hand away and pinned her to the bed, sliding inside her one tight inch at a time.

He pushed until most of his length was inside her and there was a stopping point. He began to draw himself out, slowly as if to tease her and he was moving back in, just as slowly. She watched the black commas within his eyes begin to spin, a slow turn at first.

There was no thinking. There was just the feel of him moving in and out, catching a rhythm that had her mewling like a cat. "Harder." she found herself requesting and he complied. He thrust into her so hard and quick that it tore a scream from her throat.

Sasuke stilled, moving just a quiver as if he had no control to stop completely, "Are you all right?"

"Oh, don't stop, don't stop now!" she cried, tears beading her lashes as she shut her eyes, pulling him towards her for a kiss. He never asked again as he drove inside her so fast and hard it left her gasping and writhing underneath him.

Something happened between his grunts and her cries, something she wished would have never happened. "Let's have a child, Sakura," he managed to say between heavy pants. "It can even be a girl just as long as she has your eyes, koishii." He rubbed his cheek against hers, thrusting deeper still, as if he wanted to force her very womb to open for him.

"Don't," she whimpered, "Don't say that." tears fell down from her eyes, coursing along her cheek, she was crying now, really crying. How could he be so cruel to her? How could he say they should have a child when he was still married and he had a son of his own? How could he do these things to her?

Sakura's arms came around him and pressed her upper body against his, kissing him hard, working her tongue over his as if steal his earlier words away and make him forget he ever said such a tactless thing to her.

She arched into him and a sense of fullness washed over her and swelled then burst and she fell away from him, but he followed keeping his mouth over hers as he came. He pulled back, smoothed her hair from her face, and wiped away her tears as he slid off her. She reached for the blanket, pulled it over her, and heard her shower running.

She closed her eyes only for a minute, but it was enough to send her into a warm void of sleep. She did not know how long she had been asleep but something was keeping her from sleeping until the next day, as far as she was concerned it was still night.

Sakura slowly opened her eyes, it was such a struggle because she was so tired, but she managed to do so and the first thing she saw made her jump into a sitting position and brought her to full wakefulness.

Sasuke's hair was wet and clinging to his face and he was leaning over the bed, kneeling on the floor holding his hand held up to her. She noticed his pants were back on but he was still shirtless. She brought her hands to her hair, pushing the pink tresses back and holding them in her hands.

"Fuck, put that thing away!" He had presented her with a ring, a beautiful ring, a beautifully crafted engagement ring. It was silver and the center diamond was oversized and overwhelming the other two diamonds, it glittered and the shine caught her eye, it was just as bad as if he had pulled out a kunai and held it to her with harmful intent.

He looked down at the ring and then back at her, climbing onto the bed as she pressed her knees to her chest. "I can't stop thinking about you." He sighed as if he had been thinking this over and practicing too many times to count, or maybe he had not practiced at all. He looked upset at her sudden outburst when her eyes focused on the ring.

"I can't stand all this sneaking around. I know I have a lot of bad qualities, I'm not a good, nice guy like Naruto, I'm headstrong, vindictive and on top of that I'm married to a woman I don't even love because of a child, but I need you and I need who I am when I'm with you."

That was a damn fine proposal if she could erase the fact that there was another woman involved she would have jumped at the chance to marry him. She would have been all over him and screaming at the top of her lungs, 'yes, yes, yes, lets get married.' however, the fact that there was a child and another woman involved killed the whole romantic confessional gesture.

"Sasuke-kun, slow down, in fact come to a full stop all together." the water droplets falling onto her knee darkened the blanket covering her.

"Sakura it's insane to go on the way we are, we're both adults and I know for a fact that you can't possibly love that dobe as anything more than a friend. I love you; you love me too, put your feet on the ground Sakura. Stop trying to hide in the clouds, come down and be with me. I love you, you're safe."

He grabbed her left hand and started to slide the ring on her third finger. She curled her fingers so he could not get the ring on any higher, emerald met obsidian. "You're blurring out Shoichi-kun, you're refusing to see the whole of him in the picture and how he'll feel. I know he means something to you; I see the way you are around him."

"He adores you Sakura, sometimes I think he's in love with you." that made her laugh, but she sobered quickly, shaking her head and looking down at his hand still over hers.

"I don't think he'll adore me for stealing his mother's position," she lifted his hand, the ring falling onto the mattress near her thigh. She kissed his knuckles then and put his hand to her cheek, kissing the palm once. She leaned forward, still pressing his hand to her cheek.

He met her lips and brought his other hand to cup her face; she broke away and bowed her head. "Sakura, this is right, I know you feel it too."

"Obviously you don't… I can't do this anymore, you're right about that, I think we should just quit, you know, like cold turkey." His hands fell away from her face and he stared at her, disbelieving what she said.

It was always hard to see past his cool façade but his mask fell away and shock was right there in his eyes that had bled back to their normal black long ago. "Are you… saying I can't see you anymore? What about Wednesday?"

"Sasuke, please don't make this any harder than it already is." he noticed that the suffix was gone, he had lost it when he first came back to Konoha and had to actually work to earn it back and after working so hard he lost again. She felt for the ring and pressed it into his hand. "Please go."

"Don't do this, you always wanted me, here I am."

"That was a life time ago, Sasuke."

"You still want me."

"Always, that's why you have to go." he tried to touch her and she ducked away pulling the blankets with her as if it were an expensive gown, holding it tight to her chest as she slid off the bed and stood in front of him.

"All I want is for us to be together. I love you. I love you so much. I would have done so many things differently. I tried, Sakura to not be jealous, I couldn't do it and then I met her and-"

"And what, she was your revenge fuck?"

"Sakura, koishii… please, let me… explain. I know there is nothing I can say or do to make up for what I did. I can't. You have to believe me. Please." He was begging her, how strange she made him act, he was completely outside his comfort zone but she made him crazy, she had said she was not punishing him, but it sure felt like it, her rejection stung most of all.

Sakura stared at him, moistening her bottom lip first; she looked uncomfortable, holding the coverlet around her body like a security blanket. He was losing her and he never imagined it would be over a ring. Sasuke always thought she wanted to marry him, how he wished he could just go back when everything was normal, to a time when her love would not falter.

"It hurt, I didn't know how much until I was gone and you weren't there and then when I knew, knew that you were involved with someone else… the way he was being everything I wasn't… I was thinking of my own pain, I felt abandoned and you know about my past and-"

"Is that it? Is that all you have… excuses?" He put a hand to his forehead, what was this? He was trying to explain and she was being… annoying, ever so.

"What am I suppose to do? Walk away, it shouldn't be too hard. It's what I'm good at, right?" He punched a hole in her wall, his hand gone. Sakura shuffled back, watched his back tense, his body cringe, his teeth gnashing.

"What are you doing, are you insane?"

"I've got to be, to let you walk away from me," she tucked the coverlet into itself and slid her hand around his arm and wrist.

"Can you unclench your fist?" he nodded and did so and she pulled his hand free, blood soaked his knuckles and she sighed. "Please don't do this again," she said looking over at his hand and her newly damaged wall.

"Do you really intend to leave me?" she kissed his hand the way his so-called wife would do if his son scraped his knee or elbow, she stroked it and in a way, the pain did tend to lessen. She molded her healing chakra into his hand and the wound closed up.

"Loving you is very scary sometimes, Sasuke."

"Please call me Sasuke-kun." she shook her head, stood up from the bed, and turned her back to him. She lifted up her chemise and pulled it on over her head, letting the coverlet fall away only when she had the gown back on, then she pulled on her underwear. She then lifted his shirt off the floor and handed it to him, it would seem that he had brought their clothes from the bathroom.

"Please go home, to your wife and son and don't come back… it's gotten too hard and I can't give you what you want." she leaned against the wall, turning her head from him, unable to meet his eye. "And I can't watch you hurt yourself."

He stood, watched a tear slide down her cheek, "Sakura."

"Please go." She let out a shaky sigh as he hesitated and then strode past her, pulling on his shirt and she slid down the wall and curled into herself as the door slammed shut. She was not going to cry, he did what he thought was right when he married someone else and she did what she thought was right.

She choked on a sob, it was really over… she could not stop herself; she screamed and put her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound as she fell forward, meeting the floor with her forehead, clutching her stomach and feeling terribly ill.

All she had ever wanted was Uchiha Sasuke and she had finally found the will to throw him out, she should be celebrating over the achievement, but strangely, she felt like she had not only ripped out his heart, but hers as well.

It was difficult to breathe through the tears, but somewhere during midmorning, she cried herself to sleep, alone on her floor, her face sticky with dried tears.

-Fin-

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**It's not over I swear, don't murder me, I plan to make it up to you in the next chapter... again, I beg for my life and now... LEGS DON'T FAIL ME NOW!**


	8. It Is You I Have Loved

**This is the first time ever since writing for fanfic I got twenty-three reviews for one chapter alone, I could cry, of course I think it's just because you all wanted to vent your anger at me. Oh and I lied, I'll make it up to you in the chapter next, this way I can stay true to my time line.**

**It would seem you are divided in wishing me dead and calling me evil, to not hating me, for those who don't hate me have much of my thanks.**

**reviewers you have my love, though most of you have made me scared:**

**Laura-chan (I do know the song, I have the second boxset, because the individual DVDs don't have the opening and closing songs, cough-rip-off-cough.)  
TenTenXIrista  
HPBabe91 (It is from the James Blunt song, it was fitting for the breakup, I looked up the lyrics and it said all I wanted to get across in the sasusaku breakup.)  
Paprika012345 (I am not a thing, I am a real girl with real feelings.)  
Wolfgirl21 (You've read my other stories right? I believe in sasusaku.)  
KeyHole-Gardian (I always feel sorry for Sasuke, I've seen a lot of angst male characters and out of all of them I think Sasuke's had it the hardest, he was betrayed from the inside. I think the last thing Sasuke wants to be is anything like his brother.)  
Noodle-lub-Yooh  
koolerthancool (I am officially afraid of you now, but thanks for sparing me.)  
xCathetinex (Thank you, living is at the top of my life list)  
Merridaine (Thank you that means a lot.)  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar  
Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90 (I broke them up... but I like that "what did you do" reminded me of Scrubs when they all ganged up on JD for telling Carla off, I didn't think Sakura was so vindictive, Sasuke, but not Sakura.)  
petite.ina  
Sirona of Arabia (Yes, they had to break-up, let's test how strong they are, besides this is angst.)  
blackfphoenix  
Sasuke0623  
cherryblossom9496  
xrose45623 (I'm thinking of adding another chapter, just to make sense of the last chapter, which was originally going to be chapter five but some confusion happened and now its my last chapter.)  
Sakura's Undying Love  
Kawaii Yashie (Let's not talk about my punishment and let's just settle for seething at me from a corner.)  
c-Chiaki-c (Thank goodness they're not a real couple then, huh? And thank you, that's a boast for my ego.)  
kattylin (The more you review the more I thank.)  
moodiful819**

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_Without your love in my life, I'll go crazy…_

It had been a bad night, he had seen Naruto kiss Sakura so deep and hard that he nearly broke the sake cup in his grip, then he pulled the woman he met out of the pub and now they were back at her place. He did not want her at his place; they had met at the bar after all.

She stepped up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, he kissed her back, but just barely, he pulled away, her perfume wasn't sweet like Sakura's… hers was strong and rich, overpowering. She pulled back and slid her hands around his.

She kissed his jaw; he tilted his head as her teeth grazed along the bone down to the side of his neck. He closed his eyes, little tremors crawling along his spine. He liked that. The only thing any girl could do for him that he enjoyed was kissing down the side of his jaw. It knotted his stomach in a good way.

He crushed her hands in his enough to make her whine. She brought her lips to his ear and whispered how she wanted him to come inside. He told her he did not think it was a good idea, she made eyes at him and it had no effect on him. She kissed him and then broke to lead him inside her house by the hand. Sasuke pulled back like a reluctant child.

By the time, they were in her bedroom, all their clothes discarded, his was face blank as she sat down on the bed and pulled him onto her. He did not want to drag this out; he just wanted to forget Sakura. So he fucked her, looked at her and then closed his eyes and pretended.

"Sa-" he slapped his hand over her mouth. He did not want her to talk, if she talked, she would destroy the illusion of him fucking Sakura, that it was Sakura writhing under him as he rode her against the mattress. He pretended that the hair was pastel pink and the eyes were vivid green.

He swallowed a mouthful of air and collapsed on his side, panting hard. He turned his back to her as she rolled over and slipped her arms though his, her hands pressed against chest and stomach, stroking the muscles there. A faint smile pulled up the corner of his lips as she kissed the back of his neck.

Sasuke stroked the long slender fingers content to keep up the fantasy that he was lying with Sakura and then closed his eyes to sleep.

Sasuke woke several hours later, feeling arms around him, his back pressed against someone's chest. A slow wave a peace started lulling him back to sleep. Then he jerked awake. Arms were around him. His back pressed to someone's chest. Lying together in a bed not his own. He was naked. Fuck!

He extracted himself from her arms without waking her and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling both his boxers and pants on. He felt exhausted, every bone dying to be cracked and every muscles begging for a stretch.

He rubbed his hand across his mouth and looked over his shoulder at the woman with long glossy black hair. She snuggled against the pillow, half her face buried against the pillow. She was a pretty face, but…

Sasuke pushed off the bed and searched for his shirt. He found it and pulled it over his head, when he got the shirt on he headed for the front door and pulled on his open-toe boots. He pulled open the door, stepped out into the early morning, the sky was still a pale blue, and birds were twittering and jutting out from the trees into the sky.

He closed the door quietly. Rubbing his eyes, and cupping his mouth he stifled a yawn then stretching his arms high above his head, he headed back home. It was a little warm for October, but it was not the only strange thing.

Haruno Sakura, a woman who swore she loved him with all her heart… had lied to him. He wondered how long she had waited before she hooked up with the world's stupidest shinobi. He was so pissed he was just content to get in his shower and was off everything that happened last night.

It felt good to be home, alone with his thoughts and his ghosts in a home that use to be so full of life and now… quiet. There were so many memories, some of them good a handful of them bad. Sasuke turned off the water and stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom.

He crawled onto the bed after pulling on his boxers and he drifted off to sleep, much more comfortable alone then with a body pressed to him, a body of a woman he did not bother to learn the name of even while he was fucking her.

Sasuke woke again just as the sun was going down… time seemed to elude him. He woke from a series of bad dreams, one chasing the other like a brushfire. He rubbed his face and lay back against the pillows, sweat beading and sliding over his face, chest and nape.

After another shower, he redressed and rifled through his drawers until he found his pack of cigarettes. He almost ripped the carton open to get at a cigarette. He stuck the long white cylinder between his teeth, looked for his pants, and checked his pockets.

He pulled out the lighter, lit the cigarette, and dropped back on one hand as he inhaled the tobacco deeply, falling back until he was flat on his back, inhaling and exhaling the fumes that relaxed his nerves. A loud rapping forced its way into his bedroom.

Sasuke pushed himself up, extinguished the cigarette in an ashtray, and left the bedroom. He headed into the hallway and down to the front door. He opened the door and was face to face with the last clownish face he wanted to see. "What the fuck do you want?"

"It's Wednesday." he said it as if it should have some significance to Sasuke. Sasuke shrugged, holding onto the door with sopping wet hair. "Wednesday… the day you came home…"

"Naruto… I'm asking nicely before I punch you in the face, what do you want?"

"We're getting together, you me and Sakura-chan." Sakura… the name made his heart clench. He did not want to see her, if he saw her then he had to see the intimacy between her and Naruto and then he would probably go home with another woman.

"No, thank you."

"Come on," he grabbed Sasuke around the shoulders and pulled him back, shutting the door. "Do it for Sakura-chan, she wanted to hang out just the way we did when we were twelve." Sasuke shoved Naruto away and went back to get his boots.

"Fine, can I put on my shoes, please?"

When they got to the pub Sakura was sitting alone with a glass of scotch in her hand, she was drinking and picking at the appetizer. Sasuke looked her over. She wore a white cotton blouse and a black pencil skirt, her hair adorn with her forehead protector. Sasuke was the only one without it.

It was a privilege to wear the hitai-ate, one he had yet to earn. "Sakura-chan, look who's here." she looked up from the plate, her fingers in her mouth; she looked embarrassed as if they had caught her dancing and singing in her underwear. She pulled her fingers out and gulped down her scotch to save the chore of chewing.

"Sasuke, hi," And like the hitai-ate the suffix was another privilege, one he obviously lost for being gone for so long. However, it was all good and well; because even though she was dating Naruto not once did she call him Naruto-kun.

It made him feel better if only for a little while, the night progressed until someone saying that the Hokage was requesting Naruto interrupted them. Naruto turned to Sakura and kissed her on the cheek. "Sasuke-teme would you mind walking Sakura-chan home, please, I'll return the favor."

"I walked here by myself I can walk home myself." It suddenly felt like those times when they were younger and the boys, so wrapped up in themselves… ignored her completely.

"Whatever." Sasuke said. The chance to have her to his self again was a welcoming opportunity.

"Hello, don't I have a say in this… Naruto-" he kissed her on the mouth and pulled away, she was going unheard in all this, and Naruto gave her no room for argument.

"Thanks, teme, I'll make it up to you believe it! Good-night Sakura-chan," He rushed off with the other person and Sakura looked over at Sasuke who finished off his sake.

"Come on." Sasuke up off the chair and Sakura looked up at him. "Come on, I want to go home, too."

"You don't have to walk me home, Sasuke; I'm a big girl now."

"Aa. Let's go. Are you afraid of me?" he asked when she would not budge from her seat.

"A little." he looked down at her deciding whether to believe her or not. "Fine, but this is the last time. I can take care of myself I'm not a helpless civilian, I'm a train kunoichi, I've studied under the tutelage of the Ho-" when she stood she brushed against Sasuke's stomach with her chest.

There was a spark between them that was undeniable, it had always been there even in his absence, she was naturally attracted to him and that was what scared her. She stumbled back as if she had touched a live wire. He caught her by the wrist before she fell to the ground and steadied her.

She thanked him, her cheeks now brushed with a hint of pink and she moved past him, the spark flaring up again when she touched him to get to the exit. Sasuke walked behind her for a while before he was side by side with her.

"You're really afraid of me?"

"You killed your brother… you killed Orochimaru."

"It's an improvement, trust me," he said, burying his hands in his pockets. She looked at him and he watched her eyes, she looked away from him, looking up at the night sky.

"You turned on us, you would have killed us and you would have walked away without so much as a-" she pressed her lips together and he looked down. She was right, he would have killed them and he would never have mourned it, not until it was too late, he supposed staying his hand was the only good thing Orochimaru had ever done for him.

"So are you happy, Sasuke?" she was watching where she was going. Her arms were behind her back, hands clasped together.

"No. I guess that's how things work out, I suppose, I mean it's what I always wanted, I don't regret it, but I thought I could come home and be happy."

"He didn't care about you. You weren't even on his radar, he only cared about that stupid organization and people like Naruto." He stopped and she moved in front of him. She was angry with him, antagonizing him with her words.

She was close enough to her home to walk the rest of the way alone; he did not want to fight with her. Reveal in her presence, touch any bare patch of skin; trace his lips over hers and her cheeks, forehead and the thick dark lashes of her eyes across her thin elegant brows and along her jaw. He would not mind doing those things, but fighting with her was not in his top five.

"You were never anything to him, even in the end," she stepped with him as he tried to evade her, blocking his path. He was learning a few things about her today, obviously, she drank and she could be cruel, even to him. "And you're not even happy, you're just as miserable as the day you left. I'm sure mommy and daddy are bursting with pride with their second murderous son."

He snarled in defense, pushing her back with out touching her. She looked up at him with defiance in those vivid green eyes. He loved her, even now with that dark glint in her eyes riling his nerves and exciting that knot in his stomach tempting it to come loose.

"You think you know everything because you're a fucking medic, you think you know everything because you went snooping in my past. Stop fucking sidestepping me, get out of my way Sakura before I-"

"What, are you going to hit me?" He tried to kill them when he was fifteen. What was a hit compared to that… that was what her eyes were portraying.

"Don't tempt me." he clenched his fists so tightly the knuckles popped loudly.

"You're so wrapped up in yourself that you fail to see that I'm trying to be your friend again." …Friend? She was being mean; she was hitting every nerve with accurate aim.

"I don't want to be your fucking friend!" he snapped, finally succeeding in getting her out of his way. She grabbed him by the elbow and used that strength of hers to pull him back, she let him go and he nearly tripped over his own two feet, he looked up at her, eyes narrowed, teeth gnashing.

Oh, she was strong too… so if they had a throw down Sakura probably could give him a run for his money. "What do you want then, huh, what do you want from me?" He closed the gap between them with his speed and grasped her wrists so she would not swing at him, so she would not back away and he kissed her.

She stopped breathing; he felt her breath catch then stop. He squeezed her wrists and kissed her harder, trying to get her to respond. He bit into her bottom lip, she moaned, and he felt pleased with her reaction. Her fingers curled, making a loose fist and she pressed back, finally kissing him.

His head was dizzy; he could smell her sweet scent so clearly at this proximity. He was alive, for the first time in his entire life, he was living and all he had to do was kiss her. She did what no other woman did for him… she made him enjoy everything.

He pulled away with much reluctance and he looked at her flushed face, her deep red lips swollen from his kiss and bite. She was trying to remember how to breathe, her eyes still closed. He watched her for a second before he said, "…this."

Her eyes opened and she glared at him. "Oh, boy every girl's fantasy just happened to me, Uchiha Sasuke, Konoha's most eligible bachelor kissed me." she was spurting sarcasm like venom, but he was not angry anymore, she kissed him back.

"I only want to be yours." the only person's fantasy he wanted to be was hers. He let her wrists go and cradled her face in his hands, stroking her cheekbones with his thumbs; he kissed her again, this time slower, gentler.

She succumbed to the soft contact of his mouth, wrapped her arms around him, forgetting everyone and everything except them and his kiss. Her arms twined tighter around his ribs pushing her against him. She wanted this, she had to have always wanted this.

He broke the kiss from her mouth and trailed his lips along her face to her cheek then he traced over her eyebrows and then kissed her forehead. "I want to make love to you, will you let me?" she pulled back, blinking.

"What the hell… are you suffering from amnesia? I'm seeing Naruto."

"I know that, I do. I also know that you still love me. I will not force you Sakura, I know you would like to think I would, but… I love you."

What a revelation.

She pushed him back and looked at his face, so sincere. It would hurt Naruto… it would hurt him so bad. "I love you, too."

It had been too long since he heard her say those words… so very long. He kissed her again and pushed her back, forcing her to walk or stumble along the path he guided her along blindly. Sakura stopped for a second, trying to balance her steps. He lifted her up so that her feet were off the ground and he carried Sakura the rest of the way.

Sasuke only released Sakura to allow her to unlock her door, but he kissed her neck from behind and she leaned against him when the door clicked open.

He slipped his hands under her shirt and caressed her stomach, she twitched and he stopped, working his mouth along her neck. She pushed open the door and stepped inside. Her house was dark, except for the moonlight flooding in. He turned her around and began to free the buttons.

His calm, skillful hands belied the anticipation eating away at his sanity. Clothes had always hid her body from him; he wanted to see her all, every inch of bare skin. At last, the blouse was open, he pushed it off her shoulders and her hands worked on getting his shirt off.

She touched him everywhere. She traced up his stomach to his chest over his strong shoulders around to his scapulas down to the lower back were she could feel the waistband of his pants. He stopped touching her long enough to get his pants off and then he fumbled for the zipper at the back of her skirt.

Slipping it off her body, he pulled her back up and carried her down the hall. Luckily there were not many doors and so he pushed open the door to the right and lo and behold, a bedroom! He carried her to the bed, sat her down, and slipped off her underwear.

Sasuke sat back to admire her, she cast her gaze away and he smirked and came down to kiss her. He felt her fingers in the waistband of his boxers. "You have to be naked, too." her voice was a soft whisper, meek. He smirked against her lips, kissed her, and lifted his hips to allow her to remove the underwear.

He moved his hand from her stomach to her inner thigh, tracing up slowly, provocatively. She sighed, her chest rising. He pressed his other hand to the swell of her breast just feeling the soft skin, the slow rise and fall of her chest as though she were trying to keep her breathing in check.

She swallowed hard when his fingers pushed inside her. She was warm, wet, and smooth. He pressed his forehead to her shoulder as her hands wrested his hair. He worked her, worked her until she was not as tight and then his lips came back to hers.

His lips touched hers lightly, tentatively. Her mouth opened and he met the tip of her tongue, it was hesitate, soft, she lifted to push her tongue into his mouth, sliding over the roof of his mouth and over and under his tongue.

Sasuke ran his hand over Sakura's naked body, kneading, grabbing her hips, her waist and her breasts. He slid down to lick around her hard and tight nipples. She moaned under him as he moved his wet fingers from her sheath.

There was no warning; just his hands on her hips, lifting them and a moan of relief shuddered through him as he slid inside her. His eyes stayed linked with hers as he felt a wash of desperate lust flood over him. His teeth clenched, his fingers digging into her hips. Sasuke moaned hoarsely, his control slipped for a moment from the sheer tightness of her and he slammed into her, she cried out and he cursed.

"Fuck, sorry." Then his eyes clouded with his focus wavering as his body shuddering convulsively. She felt so good, so right. He gave a low, panting moan, then slowed, hiding his face in her collarbone as she stroked his back.

He moved slowly inside her, still hard. He wanted to make love to her, not pound her impression into the mattress then break the bed.

It felt gloriously good to be inside her, to have her stroke his back and pull him closer. With his face still pressed against her neck he whispered, "I love you, Sakura, so much." Sakura shivered, not from him moving inside her, though that felt _so_ good, but from the movement of his lips against her neck, that was its own natural high.

She cupped his chin and lifted his face to hers for a deep kiss. He could feel what Sakura was feeling, knew her heart almost better than his own, but he did not understand her. He opened his eyes, asked her to look at him; slowly she lifted her lashes.

In that moment staring into those beautiful, sated, peaceful eyes, he simply had no idea why she took up with Naruto, the village's clueless git. He was jealous; the first man she lay with was that… the thought flittered across his conscious, what if Naruto was better, better than he was?

Naruto could not ever be better than Uchiha Sasuke could, in anything. "Is this okay, does it feel okay?" she shook her head, nipping at his bottom lip.

"It feels wonderful… I-I…" She twisted under him and he slipped his arms under her to her back to hold her still against him. "I don't want this to end…" her arms came up, her breasts straining against his chest. Physically being with her was better than any illusion.

He pressed his mouth over hers and stroked her inner walls, she pressed her hands against the back of his head, deepening the kiss and his eyes slid shut just after hers.

The climax came slow, almost languid, each wave passing through him with magnificent singularity. He felt her climax, just as slow and epicurean. He groaned in fulfilled release.

Sasuke pulled her up and rolled onto his back, tucking her head under his chin. For a long time they did not move. She stayed against him, listening to the lull of his wild heart. Soon the dread moment would come, the moment reality would return, the sin of adultery.

It would happen, the fog of lovemaking would part and the decision whether she stayed with Naruto or broke it off would rise. He of course knew the direction of his vote, it was only right that she leave Naruto for him, they were the ones destined to be together, the imaginary thread tied to the others soul.

She always loved him. Sakura caressed his stomach, snuggling closer to him. Sasuke rubbed her shoulder. "Mmm… what did you do to me?" He chuckled, a low rumbling sound, she walked her fingers up his stomach to his chest, dancing her fingertips across his clavicle.

He tilted his head and pressed his mouth to her ear, "Would you like me to do it again?" She let her head tilt back so that she could see the deep black color of his eyes.

"Yes, please." He was amazed, he thought she was all set to slip into a coma, but she was rubbing his arm with one hand and trailing the other down into the covers around his waist. She shifted accordingly so that she was straddling his hips.

He reclined a smirk on his face that faded as she reached and guided him inside. She rose slightly and he reached to hold her waist, she grabbed his hands and put them against the headboard of her bed. He narrowed his eyes. "Don't touch, just feel."

She dropped kisses along his throat and up to his ear, moving her face across his and pressing her mouth over his as her fingers curled around his shoulders as she rocked against him. The heat in her eyes was almost touchable.

Sakura kissed him again, mouth lingering on his, her tongue probing, opening his mouth so the kiss could be more. She drew back, slowly. "Sakura…" he needed to touch her, and she was torturing him; he could see it in that smile: sexual, flirtatious, and a little cynical. He came up to kiss her, using his willpower not to touch her as she instructed, she seemed to enjoy his frustration.

He would have called her a bitch if he did not like her teasing so much, but he did not like the new teasing she doing. He tried to kiss her and she pulled back, just out of reach. "Sakura," his voice came out as a warning and she laughed a little before pressing her lips to his.

"Okay." she brought his hands away from the headboard. His hands smoothed over the tops of her breasts, moved down, and squeezed lightly, enough to make her eyes close and her mouth open. He moved his hands over to the curved of her waist and he lifted her so that the blanket fell away and he was on his knees.

Sakura's legs entwined with his. Sasuke made a small, low sound in his throat and kissed her, plunging his hands into her soft tresses. He pushed against her until she was flat on her back, facing the footboard. She rose up to meet his thrusts.

It was one quick thrust after another until her climax triggered his. He collapsed over her, panting her chest pushing against his constrictively. "I can't breathe." she coughed and he nodded then shook his head.

"I can't move, use those… muscles of yours." She opened her eyes and pushed on his shoulders and he fell off her and onto his back. She moved to sit up, laughing between huffs and moving her sex tousled hair off her face.

An arm was about the equivalent of what he could move. He pressed his thumb to her spine, stroking slowly. "Hn, so that's what I gave up." She looked over at him and then began laughing. She thumped him on the chest with that back of her hand. He took her hand and brought it to his lips.

She rolled over so that she pressed against him; he stroked her face and hair. Her nose touched his, "And a lot of other things too." She slid down his body until her cheek pressed against his chest.

"Not anymore… I am not letting this moment go. I will not let you go. This is where I belong, with you." she kissed his chest lightly.

"Stupid man, stupid, stubborn man. But mine all the same." Yes, he was hers. He held her close and surrendered to sleep. The only plans he had were to spend as much time in Sakura's bed, loving her and having her. He should have never forgotten how life loved to fuck him over.

Two months had passed since his forgotten one-night stand, but she had not forgotten him. She found him while he had been waiting to meet up with Sakura who had been away on a mission, who had yet to break it off with Naruto.

He had been very patient with her decision-making, which was an improvement for him, patience not being one of his virtues. Then he saw _her_… from that fervent night of meaningless sex and she told him that she was ten weeks pregnant- with his child and all he had to do was count the days.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

-Fin-


	9. I'm Empty Since You Left Me

**A/N: If you don't know what was happening in the last chapter… I'm not telling.**

**So following this story will commence, after the constant thank you for reviewing: **

**petite.ina  
****kattylin  
****Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90  
****direwolf1427  
****Decorinne (You are becoming one of those reviewers I love to hear from.)  
****Laura-chan  
****Paprika012345 (No, I know, I just always wanted to say that. No offense taken, honest.)  
****xrose45623  
****Wolfgirl21  
****Hyuuga's Winged Guardian  
****Sirona of Arabia  
****KeyHole-Gardian  
****Kenya  
****koolerthancool  
****Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar (Yes, you are right, he does, though I always felt that if Sasuke ever had sex he'd become like a sex addict, but that's just me.)  
****venus goddess (and I love that at least some people like yourself know and remember that it is a back and forth timeline.)  
****moodiful819  
****Coquettish Siren  
****HPBabae91  
****Kawaii Yashie (well, let's make it quick then, that way there's minimal pain.)  
****Merridaine (Well it was their first time and Sasuke wasn't tied to anyone then, and eventually she would have broken it off with Naruto.)  
****animedreamerz05**

* * *

I tried to go on like I never knew you…

The first week was the hardest, there were times he would wake up in the middle of the night and he would get dressed and just as he was pulling his boots on, he would remember and set the boots down and then go back to his bedroom.

So a week passed and then a month, then two months, then before he knew it a year had blurred past him, though it felt like life had slowed to a crawl. He drank but it was his curse that he could not become drunk, damn his immune system.

It was now mid-July; just a few more days before his wretched birthday… he could hear the cicadas singing in the hot sun and the slow clicking of the clock overhead. "Tousan…?" The voice called him again and he started, sitting back against the chair and looking straight ahead before turning to see his son.

"Huh?" he had been asleep at his desk since he came home from his mission in the early hours of morning, now it was the midday. "What, oh, Shoichi, what is it?" he rubbed his face, his beard scratching against the heels of his palms.

"Kaasan says lunch is ready." Resting his elbows on the desk, he hid his face in his hand, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Hn, I'm not hungry," he said, turning his face and looking down at his seven year old. He closed his eyes feeling just as tired as ever.

"You said that yesterday and the day before too, you're always saying that." Sasuke opened one eye and looked at the boy who was giving him a steady glare. The corners of his lips lifted at the sight of his son angry with him.

"Then it must be true." Sasuke said and dropped his arms down onto the desk again, he buried his face in the bend of his elbow to block out the sun and tried to fall asleep, but Shoichi gave his chair a hard kick and left the room.

Sasuke listened to the slamming of the door and could not help but smile, that boy was turning into him. Stretching his arms out in front of him, he arched his back and felt every bone crack and pop. He lifted his arms high above his head and then slumped in the chair.

He finally felt the need for a shower so he forced his body out of the chair and made his way to the door that lead to his bedroom and then through the door that lead to the bathroom. Closing and locking the door behind him, he stopped in front of the mirror.

He looked like shit, felt like it too. He brushed the crust from his eyes and he bent over the sink, he pulled his shirt up over his head and let it fall to the floor then turned to the shower and turned the water on full-blast then removed the rest of his clothes.

The water was scalding hot, just the way he liked it. He let his face take the full force of the shower before he bowed his head, took the soap, and lathered it up. He began scrubbing so hard that his skin turned a bright red. His skin screamed in protest and throbbed in pain so he finally let up.

Sasuke began to wash his hair. He had not kept it trimmed since Sakura left him or rather, forced him out of her life. His wife had offered to trim it for him but he dismissed her and asked her not to touch him, she said he changed; he said he just went back to who he really was.

Sasuke turned off the water, stepped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and dried his hair before wrapping the towel around his waist. He looked in the mirror after wiping the condensation off the glass; it was as if stranger was looking out that mirror instead. He walked away before he allowed his anger to grasp him.

He walked into the bedroom and looked for fresh clothes. He pulled on a clean black shirt, clean boxers and clean black pants, then he crawled onto the bed, dropped to his stomach, and closed his eyes. He heard the door open and ignored it. "Please eat."

"Please go away," he mumbled against the pillow. He jerked back when he felt fingers stroke through his wet hair and down his back.

"Are you just going to waste away?"

"I'm working."

"You need to eat to keep up your strength." Her voice was a soft plead that had no effect on him. "Your son is worried about you."

"It's my job to worry about him, not the other way, I'm going out." he could not bear her nearness… he did not love her, he would never love her, he lost the woman he loved a year ago. Leaving the room, he walked passed the kitchen, caught the sight of his son just barely and kept going, stopping only to pull his boots on.

He made his way down the street for his long, lonely walk, right into the shopping district. He knew it was a mistake. He stopped and saw her in front of the Yamanaka flower store. She was wearing a white dress that tied at the shoulders and matching white sandals.

The sun caught in her short pink tresses making her hair look glossy and beautiful, her skin lightly tanned and she was just… as he remembered her. She looked good, better than good, she looked relieved and not stressed; there was a smile on her face as her arms came behind her to interlock her fingers as she lifted up on her toes as she conversed with Ino.

He could not tear his eyes off her, he had not seen her in so long and she was as beautiful as sunlight dancing across an endless blue ocean.

He swallowed and stepped forward, looking down at his feet he stopped and took a step back, he could not let her see him as he was now. He looked back up when he heard her cry out, Naruto, who had come out of nowhere, was spinning her around from behind, pressing her back against his chest as she kicked out her legs and laughed out loud, squeezing her eyes closed.

Naruto set her down and turned her to face him and they kissed. Ino slapped Sakura on the back, Sakura turned around and laughed, and they went inside the shop, Naruto and Sakura holding hands.

He was so stupid, so stupid to think that she would be sitting at home crying over him and not moving on. He drew in a deep breath and knew he should have stayed home.

A year without her, how did he manage it? They were polar opposites, he pulled a blanket of depression over himself and she embraced the silver lining, she moved on, he stopped moving forward.

Sasuke turned and ran home, he ran as fast as he could because… he had seen her. He shouldn't have seen her, it was like a drunk taking a drink after being sober for so long, it only took one drink to get them drinking again, just like before.

He pushed open his door and he stormed back into his bedroom, son and wife turning to watch him. She followed him and he closed the bathroom door in her face. She knocked, "Sasuke, what are you doing?" He turned the water on, the sound faded out, and he took the shaving cream and smeared it over his cheeks and his chin, under his jaw and under his nose.

Sasuke wet the razor and began to cut off the dark bristles he had let grow. When he finished he cleaned his face and opened the cabinet, taking out his aftershave and splashing it to his neck and cheeks. He peered at his reflection, making sure he did not miss a spot.

After a thorough examination, he took the scissors in the cabinet and opened the door and stepped out and thrust the scissors out handle first to his wife she took them with a little hesitance, looking from the scissors to his face.

"You want me to trim your hair?" he met her eye and nodded and she smiled and sat him down on the bed and climbed in behind him. He could have done it himself, but he could not see the back of his head so he needed some assistance. The scissors snipped and he hunched over as she raked her fingers through his hair, removing loose strands.

She set the scissors aside signaling she was done and leaned over him, kissing the shell of his ear; he flinched as she whispered in his ear about fixing him some food. She slid off the bed and hurried to the kitchen. Sasuke walked over to the mirror attached to the bureau.

He looked just like he did when he was still seeing Sakura, his hair past his ears down to his cheeks down to the nape, caught in a permanent cowlick. He liked this look; this was a look worthy of the Uchiha name and emblem, worthy of Sakura.

He sat down on the bed and rubbed his hands over his smooth face and Shoichi was in the room by his side, he looked up at his son. "Hn…?"

"Don't do that again, whatever you were doing."

"Don't worry, I was just… going through a rough time, I'm okay now." his son looked suspicious and he reached out and ruffled his hair. "I promise."

…

Sakura turned her eyes and looked to see Naruto dozing, he never could stay awake too long watching a movie. She smiled and stroked his cheek and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Naruto… Naruto, wake up." he snorted into full wakefulness and she smiled, stroking his cheek.

"Sakura-chan that was a fine damn movie." he lied, because they were in the middle of the movie when she woke him up.

"You shouldn't lie, and it's time for you to go home Naruto." he pushed himself off the sofa and she followed him and they went to her door, he put his boots on and leaned against the door. He rubbed her arms as if to give her warmth, she was already warm.

"Sakura-chan, I'd like you to think about what I said, will you?" she chewed her bottom lip and smoothed her hands over his shirt under his jacket.

"I will." he smiled and pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. Naruto smiled and leaned back enough to kiss her. She kissed him back, fisting his shirt in her hands. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." he opened the door and she watched him leave before she closed the door. She turned the light on and headed back to the living room to turn off the TV. She finished cleaning up when there was a knock on her door. She sighed, just like to Naruto to forget something.

She went to open the door and her eyes went wide. His hand came up and held the door. She just stared, unable to move. She had not seen him in a year and he looked nothing the way Naruto had described him. He looked just as he had the last time she ever saw him.

"Please don't close the door." he said, in a steady low voice. She did not say anything, she just stood there staring wide-eyed, her arm shaking a little. "Can I come inside?" he did not wait for her reply he just pushed the door open and stepped inside her home.

She closed the door slowly and turned around. She felt everything around her move and got nervous when she met his eye. She did not know what he was doing there, it all seemed surreal, like any moment she would wake up and she would have imagined the whole thing. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, opened her eyes and he was… still there.

He was talking again, something, words didn't seem to matter, there he was like a vision of her deepest desires and she thought she would feel sick, but she felt numb, like she wasn't even there. Oh, dear God, he was experiencing an emotional overload. "I know you don't want to see me, I know you told me to go and not come back, but I saw you today and you were… beautiful. I-"

He stepped forward, but stopped when she recoiled, he did not want to scare her, that was not why he was there. "I tried… and the only way for me to succeed was to take as many missions as possible and just… not ever see you, it worked, but I felt numb inside, I felt like I was missing the biggest part of me."

She just stared at him, trembling a little, he sighed. "You don't know how hard it is right now to not go to you and touch you. I am holding back with everything I have. I don't know why I'm here, I know what I want to happen and it's not, because you kicked me out… but I had to see you, to be near you."

He wished she would say something, he was telling her everything he had wanted to say to her for so long, a year, a year without her and it was different then the first time he had been without her. Sasuke had not known the intimacy of her then and he had been just a boy when he first left her, but she had still loved him and now… that was gone.

"When… when you told me to go and not come back there was this pain in my heart that day that I had only felt once in my whole life and that was when It… when _he_ had eradicated the entire clan, my entire family. Please Sakura, don't-"

He took a deep breath and exhaled sharply, he did not close his eyes; he wanted to see her, he had not seen her in so long.

"Don't make me live without you, it hurts too much, if you want me to beg I will, but please love me enough to let me back in your life."

"Sasuke-kun." he stopped talking, she called him Sasuke-kun; it was such a relief to hear her call him that. Her voice was sweet, so beautiful like the crystal ringing of wind chimes, soft and beautiful that he could die to hear her speak again. "You're here."

"I'm here." He watched as she came to him, arms outstretched, she cupped his face and dragged him down to her level. Sakura wondered briefly if he had always been so tall.

She pressed her mouth to his and his heart sang, she was kissing him, not throwing him out or yelling in his face for intruding on her life, just kissing him with all of her passion. He hesitated on touching her, but he pulled her close, wrapped his arms about her.

She pushed him back, her green eyes glistening with tears and searching his face. "I missed you," He looked surprised and she kept her hold on his face, "Every day. I would look for you and you weren't there." A tear escaped and slid down her face, a shaky breath escaped her.

"You did? Why didn't you say anything, come find me?" he wondered, his neck and shoulders were starting to get a crick but he did not mind, he would endure any pain to have her touch him again. She bit her bottom lip and looked down.

"Then you would have seen how weak I really was, I'm the one who forced you out not the other way around, how much of a hypocrite would I be if I did that?" He shook his head, pushing her closer just so he could smell her vanilla and jasmine scented skin. He did not care if it was a gift from Naruto; it was her scent now.

"You, Sakura, are the strongest woman I know." she lowered her lashes and smiled, he smiled watching as more tears slid down her face. She was always crying around him, but this time her tears made him happy because she missed him just as much as he had missed her. "Can I kiss you?"

There was a look on his face- delight, maybe- with the effect his words seemed to have on her. She laughed then, it was a good sound. He smiled, and suddenly he was all male, pride, and pleased with himself. She lifted her head and pressed her mouth against his, gentle, soft, sweet.

It was like melting from the mouth down, her hands slid back into his hair and pulled his head closer to hers. He wrapped his arms about her and lifted her up, straightening and relieving the pain in his neck and shoulders.

Sasuke opened his mouth to caress her lips with his tongue, she opened her mouth, but drew back, and Sasuke let her feet touch the ground, her hands still on his neck. Sakura was breathless and her eyes tightly closed. "Oh God, I love you, you don't know how much." she told him breathlessly.

"Show me."

She almost did not believe what he had just said to her, but the serious look on his face, reflecting in his eyes proved that he meant what he said. She made it so she would kiss him, but she moved back and untied the strings at each top of her shoulders.

He watched in stunned anticipation as she pulled one free and let the strings fall then moved to the other, his breathing hitched as she got the knot loose. The dress fell like water, his eyes followed the fall of the dress, revealing the swells of her breasts, the flat, small curve of her stomach.

The dress clung to her hips for a second before falling past her thighs and knees and pooled around her ankles. She stepped out of the dress, standing naked in front of him; the only clothing on her was a white lace pair of hiphuggers.

Sasuke first removed his boots then drew his shirt over his head, she stood inches from him as he revealed the flat plains of his stomach, the soft muscular swell of his chest, arching his back to get the shirt off his arms and he let it fall to the floor over his boots. She walked over to him, cupped the back of his head, and pulled him down for a kiss.

He leaned into her, lips almost touching, then moved past. His breath was hot against the side of her face; his lips brushed her cheek, his hands sliding from her hip to her stomach. Sasuke was warm against her, his body heat fighting off the chill her naked flesh was experiencing.

His breathing was slow and deep, after a couple of minutes he dipped his head and brushed his lips against her neck and she tilted her head back, it felt good, so wonderfully right. Especially when he moved his hand, up to brush her hair from her cheek and ran his fingertips across her jawline to her lips.

Sakura parted her lips, flicking her tongue out to taste his finger then ran her tongue against the smoothness of his fingernail. As her lips parted, he moved his finger between her teeth. She nibbled at it, teeth grazing over the ridges of skin.

Sasuke moved his lips down to her shoulder, his breath tickling the tiny hairs there and sending a shiver through her. As she chewed delicately on his finger, his lips and other hand moved over her collarbone and small of her back, raising goose bumps in their path. His hand slipped into the back of her underwear and he cupped her, stroked her.

"Sasuke-kun," she gasped as he moved his hand out and started to pull the underwear down, he lifted her, pulling the underwear off down her legs then let them fall to the floor with her dress.

He stepped out of his pants and let them fall where they landed as he carried her to the bedroom, her naked body pressed against his, their lips moving slowly over each other's.

Sasuke pushed the door open and walked into the dark room, the lights from outside shining in through the window near her bed. It was just like old times, except the furniture now was rearranged and added. Her bed now pushed up against the window and on either side was small bedside tables.

She had a few pictures of flowers hanging on her wall and one covered the place where he had punched a hole into the wall so long ago. It was the room of a woman moving on with her life, making it comfortable for her boyfriend, classy not frilly.

Sasuke deposited her down on the bed. His hand slipped to the dip between her ribcage and hipbone and stroked the curve there. The kisses were soft, but fierce as if kissing was the remedy to some powerful disease. When his fingers tailed over to her stomach she leaned in close to him, her hands in the waistband of his boxers.

He pulled back and helped her remove them. When there were no longer any obstacles between them, Sasuke climbed onto the bed and pulled her onto his lap. Sasuke maneuvered them so that he was sitting on the bed and she was sitting on his lap.

He went back to kissing her, matching the pace of his hands as they explored her body, gliding across her sides, her back, arms and shoulders, along the back of her thighs and over her hips.

Sasuke shifted them down so that they were both lying on their sides, facing one another, kissing as if they had all the time in the world, as though they had so much to make up for after a year apart. She kept her eyes closed, moving against him, exulting in the heat of his skin and the smooth planes and sinews of his body.

When she felt the hardness of him against her stomach, her body responded without instruction. Shifting her torso up, easing her legs apart, he sank inside her, rolling her onto her back as he interlaced their fingers, clutching down on her hands, giving her pain with pleasure.

His lips parted against hers, she kissed him harder, opening her eyes and pressing herself into him, kissing him harder still. The kiss deepened as her body moved against his. The spark fanned into a flame, all her senses jumping to life.

Sasuke felt relief wash over him; he had almost forgotten how good it felt to be inside her, moving with her as one. The world fell away and all he could experience, all he wanted to experience was Sakura.

He tasted her, smelled her, heard and saw her, reveled in the sensations. When he drew back and thrust, she freed her hands, grabbed his hips, and held him still. "Don't," she huffed. "Let me." He wanted her to show him how much she loved him, and that was what she was going to do.

Sasuke pushed up on his hands and held himself motionless over her. She arched her hips to his and rubbed against him. Above her, Sasuke gasped. A shudder ran through him and she pushed his shoulders up off her so that she could watch him.

As she moved he kept his eyes on her, he bared his teeth, fighting to keep still. She thrust up against him and held herself there, relishing the control she had over him; relishing the sounds she derived from him. She moved one hand up his torso and held it against his chest, feeling his mad heartbeat, "Sasuke-kun."

That was his cue to move, burying himself in her he let out a soft moan. She arched up to meet him. They moved together. When she felt the beginnings of her climax, she pulled back, not willing to give him up yet. "Wait," she gasped, gliding her hands up over the back of his hips to his taut and muscular, sweat slick back. "Just wait."

Sakura closed her eyes and inhaled. His aftershave was clean and sweet, but underneath was the smell of his skin, his flesh. It made it so the aftershave would never smell the same on anyone else. She pressed her face to the hollow of his collarbone and breathed his scent in hungrily.

As she breathed him in, the world seemed to turn into a burst of colors, green over a canvas of black; blood red sprinkled over the green and then white glittered and mingled with the red, and blue washed over like water the way it did in a surge of the ocean, pacifying.

Sakura could feel it all, the twitch of Sasuke's biceps under her hands as he held his body over hers, sweat dripping from his chest to hers, the rub of his calf against hers, the throbbing of him inside her. This was what it was like to be alive, holding him, interlocked, touching, and kissing.

She missed him, she missed him so much, she had never felt so alone… their first initial separation was nothing compared to this one. They were not sleeping together in their first separation. She licked his throat, sighing.

Tightening around him, she listened to his answering groan, felt her own response shudder through her, "Now, Sasuke-kun, please." Sasuke bent his face and kissed her hard as he moved inside her. She wrapped herself around him, pulling him close with arms and legs.

Her eyes fluttered shut and her world unraveled and black engulfed her like rising water. She exhaled sharply and fell lax and he collapsed against her, his chest pressing against her breasts. Still buried inside her he rolled them onto their sides and he pressed his forehead to hers. They had just had the best make up sex of all.

She moved her hands to his hair and they shared a kiss. "If this is a dream… please don't ever let me wake." He rasped against her lips. She nodded and kissed him again. It felt like forever before her heart regulated and she could talk without panting.

"So I was lied to." he lifted a brow, a little curious on what she meant. She reached out and touched his face, her fingers pressing against his cheek as she cupped his chin. "I was told you grew a beard." she caressed his face.

"Was that something you wanted to see?" He felt as though a void had been filled now that they were together again, he knew he could not change the way she felt about the fact that he had a wife and son, but she was with him now and suddenly his open wounds seemed to close.

It was easier to run, but his son was the only reason he did not run from Konoha like a coward. "I was a little curious; everyone was making such a big deal about it." She stroked his cheek, under his chin and to the other cheek.

He missed being in her arms, in her bed, in her. "What's the matter?" he asked, when he saw a look cross her face before she hid it behind a smile. He rubbed his cheek against her hand.

"Naruto was here earlier." he didn't want to hear about Naruto, not when he was tangled up in her, he didn't want to talk about Naruto or even think about him. Suddenly he was mad. He did not want to be mad, but he could not help it.

"Was he? Did he touch you, fuck you?" he moved away from her and reached for his boxers, pulling them on. He tensed when she wrapped her arms around him, one arm under his and pressing against his stomach and ribs, the other arm over his shoulder and pressing against his chest.

"Sasuke-kun, would you just listen without jumping to conclusions… he asked me to move in with him. He's been asking for a while now." He turned his head so he could meet her face, her beautiful green eyes. She pressed her forehead to his temple, but he only let that go for so long.

He bowed his head, elbows on the top of his legs, his fingers interlocking. "Are you going to?" She pressed her lips together then kissed his shoulder.

"Honestly…? I… am not sure. This whole year, I missed you so much and I just wanted to be with you." He took her hand in his lifted it to kiss the palm of her hand. "I'll hurt him so bad, Sasuke-kun."

"Don't you think that if he really loves you, he'll want you to be happy and if your happiness lies with me don't you think he'll step aside gracefully?"

"No, I think he'll act like a thirteen year old boy and try to start a fight." he squeezed her hand and chuckled. "I'm afraid… if I choose you over Naruto you'll leave me after you've had me because you only want what you can't have. The more unattainable… the more desirable, isn't that the saying?"

Sasuke moved away from her, out of her embrace and he looked down at her, turned the lamp atop the table at the side of the bed on, and looked back down at her. "How can you say that, think that, Sakura, after all we've been through? I am tired of this Sakura, I am… you think I like chasing you? I thought being away from you would be easier, I was wrong, so fucking wrong."

She pulled the covers up over her shoulders, refusing to meet his eye as if she regretted saying anything. "I never thought… not even for the slightest second that the more I had of you the more I would want… everyday. How can you write me off so easily? I proposed to you."

"As a married man…"

"I would never leave you. Shoichi would hate me, but it's my life Sakura, I want to be happy just like everyone else and as perplexing as it may sound the only time I'm not miserable is when I'm with you."

"I'm so torn," she confessed, wrapping her arms around herself pulling the covers closer over her and looking away with tears in her eyes again. He cupped her face and leaned his face over hers.

"Do you love him? I mean really love him. Are you _in_ love with him?" she looked up at him with wide eyes and then she could not hold his intense gaze any longer and that was his answer. "I thought so. Say yes to me Sakura… just say yes. I won't ever let you feel lonely or unloved."

"Don't let me regret this…"

"Are you saying yes?"

"Yes." she nodded, bringing her fist up to rub her eyes clean, she looked up at him, a smile breaking over her face as she began laughing.

"You won't regret this, Sakura, I won't let you." Then he kissed her and pushed her back onto the bed and she cried out, laughing loudly as he started lowering the covers so he could trail the kisses down from her neck to her stomach, his fingers digging into her sides.

She screamed; more bursts of laughs coming out from her mouth as he tickled and moved back up her body to kiss her mouth while he made her laugh. "Stop, Sasuke-kun," she laughed and jerked, "You'll wake the neighbors."

"I don't care, koishii, I don't care." Sasuke whispered in her mouth but stopped tickling her as he kissed her slowly, her arm hooked around his neck, with her other hand she caressed his face. Making love again just seemed right.

-Fin-


	10. Simple Thing, Where Have You Gone

**Second to last chapter everyone so I'll take time to remind you that I, in no way own any legal rights to Naruto. I don't own the characters- with the exception of the original characters- or the places. I would also like to take the time to apologize for OOC, the further I get into this story the more out of character they become.**

**Also this is a sort of flashforward, flashback, which will make sense with the last chapter.**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you- a hundred times over for each and everyone who has the time and courtesy to put in a review even if its only once:**

**Wolfgirl21 (One more chapter and then yes this story will be over.)  
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_I go to leave but you reach for me…_

Sasuke walked into the children's sick ward. Sakura stood in the middle of the room surrounded by dozens of yelling sick children and holding the littlest girl in her arms. She glowed, was in her place, surrounded by children who adored her.

He leaned against the doorframe and watched as they tugged on her white coat and followed her as she set the girl in her arms down on a bed. "I give! I give!" she cried as they started to climb atop her and tickle her. One boy got his arms locked around her neck.

"Naoki-kun, I said I give." she unlatched his fingers from around her neck and set him down. "I'll see you brats later." They protested her leaving and she turned around, brushing her hair of her face and behind her ear, her eyes meeting Sasuke's dark gaze.

Her smile brightened and she walked over to him and he pushed away from the wall as she stepped into his arms, earning a couple of oohs and several snickers and giggles. Sakura turned from Sasuke and glared at the children. "Cover your eyes; you're all far too young." She pushed Sasuke out of the room and walked down the hall, Sasuke following her.

"Naruto's coming home today."

"Yes."

"Nervous?"

"Yes." she admitted as she pushed open the door to the stairwell and he followed her. She pushed against the wall and he stood in front of her, taking her hands between his, bringing them up to his face to kiss the tips of her fingers.

"Do you want me to be there with you?" she looked up at him, her green eyes hard. He dropped her hands, caressed her face, and then pressed his cheek against hers.

"No," she whispered as she slipped her arms around him, stroking his back, her hands sliding down, slipping under his shirt, and running up his spine. "I rather have him hate me than you," she whispered against his neck, slowly kissing up to his ear.

"I would rather have him hate me than you, he's not the dobe I thought he was if hates you for this." he turned his face to hers and caught the scent of her perfume, their lips touched, the barest contact enough to spark a fire between them.

She grabbed at him, pressed her body hard against his as if she would devour him from the mouth down. Sasuke grabbed her around the waist and pressed her close so there were hardly any gaps between his body and hers. His tongue filled her mouth and slid along the top and bottom of hers.

Sakura pushed him back onto the opposite wall, he flipped her back around and she struggled, more for the feel of it, his body moving on hers, the weight of him, the contractions of his muscles as they worked to keep her pinned against the wall.

Sakura grabbed his face, pulled away from him, and slid down his body. He pressed his hands hard against the wall as she lifted up his shirt and kissed and licked around his navel. She tugged the button of his pants loose, yanked the zipper down, and then scrambled away.

Sasuke growled as she bound down the steps, the sound of her open-toe boots echoing through the stairwell. He heard a door opening and closing and he turned over, pressing his back against the wall as he redid his pants. He reached into his back pocket and cursed, she stole his pack of cigarettes.

Sakura herself was already halfway home. When she got to the front door of her house, she pulled off her white coat and she grabbed her keys and was about to open her door when two arms wrapped around her waist, lifted her off the ground and spun her around.

She felt queasy, but it passed as he hooked her left foot and she fell backward with him toppling over her. Sakura looked up at him, his face handsome in the fading light of the sun, his lips drawn back in a snarl, and she smiled up at him, knowing exactly why he had that look on his face.

"Where are they?"

"I threw them away, I don't like you smoking." his mouth came down hard on hers. She wrapped her arms around him as she hooked one leg over his narrow hip. She pulled away dragging his shirt up over his taut muscular back. "Oh- whatever, I know you'll just smoke behind my back anyway. You're all show."

"Careful-" he warned as he ducked his head under the jet-black shirt and pulled the shirt off his head. His mouth went back to hers, tongue slipping between her teeth, exploring deeper. "Let's go inside," he mumbled against her lips when his tongue withdrew from her mouth.

"No, let's do it out here," she said, pulling her head back to look into his eyes and then up at the sky. "New moon." she said as if that would explain everything.

"What about the neighbors?" he asked mockingly, biting into her neck softly. She moaned for him, a pretty moan that made his eyes roll in the back of his head and his eyelids fall shut.

"Fuck the neighbors," she whispered as she tossed him on his back. She slid over his body and unbuttoned his pants for the second time. "Make love to me," she whispered into his ear, licking around the appendage, nipping at the lobe.

Sasuke grabbed her wrists and squeeze hard. "You're not going to run away again are you?" unable to use her arms she came down to his neck and grazed his throat with her teeth, kissing softly where the ear met the jaw.

She used her bizarre strength, hauled him up, and led him further back into the yard, where the trees were thicker. She pulled on the zipper of her vest, pulled it down, and slipped it off her shoulders and he sighed, watching the vest fall so that the Haruno symbol showed.

One day Sasuke was going to propose to her again, one day he was going to make her wear outfits that had the Uchiha emblem printed into them. He wet his lips as she began to unravel the chest bindings. She pushed her skirt and shorts off, leaving her only in a pink low-rise v-string.

In all the time he had known her intimately, never had she once worn anything too provocative. She reached for him and pulled him closer. "I'm not going anywhere." Sasuke hooked his fingers into the straps and smirked.

"Are these for me?" she smiled back at him as his hand came around to cup the back of her hips, pressing her against him.

"I have some other lingerie, too." she whispered, her breath hot against the skin of his neck. Sakura raised her face to meet his lips. He was like silk, pleasantly cool against her mouth and skin. He drew his lips from hers and lowered his face to her bare breasts, taking first one then the other into his mouth, rolling each nipple slowly with his tongue.

"You have to meet Naruto soon…" he breathed the words voicelessly as his hands cupped her breasts, fingers tightening, until she cried out.

"Then make it fast."

Sasuke shook his head, his hands slid down her back to her hip, fingers catching the edge of the undergarments. "I could never go fast with you; I want to take my time." he rubbed his nose against the junction of her neck and shoulder and then lifted her up and lowered her to the soft ground, the grass soft against her skin.

Lifting her legs, he pulled the rest of the last piece of clothing off her body faint with scarce scars. She lay naked before him, the soft wind spilling over their bodies. Sasuke pulled off both his pants and boxers and propped himself up on one arm, the long naked line of his body so close to hers.

Sakura ran her hand down his chest, down his stomach, his waist and finally touched the warmth of him. She cupped him in her hands, holding him firmly and he shuddered, his eyes closing. When he opened them, his obsidian eyes filled with heated lust, almost tangible. It stopped her breath and made things low in her body tighten.

She squeezed gently, caressed him and his spine bowed with it, his head was thrown back so she could not tell if his eyes were open or closed. Sakura moved down while his face was skyward, as her hand stroked him with the right amount of pressure.

She rolled him into her mouth in an abrupt complete movement that brought a deep guttural sound from deep inside him. She rolled her eyes so that she could see his face when looked down at her, his lips half-parted and his face almost wild.

Sasuke's breath came in quick bursts that started from his stomach, spilled to his chest and came out his lips in a word. He panted her name like a prayer and she pulled away from his body and pressed him down onto his back, she moved her body over his, taking him slowly inside her a tight inch at a time, until he was sheathed inside her.

He whispered her name as she bent over him until they kissed. She kissed Sasuke with the feel of him inside her, her body pressed to his in the most intimate of embraces. They became part of that ageless, timeless, ancient dance.

Their bodies locked together, her hips moving back and forth, his hips lifting up then back down so that they formed a double rhythm. She felt him swell tight and firm and she squeezed him tight inside her body, holding him with hands and mouth, every part of her as if he would vanish if she didn't hold on tight, Sasuke felt the same way, his hands squeezed her hips, moved up and stroked her shoulder blades.

Not wanting her to dominate him for too long, he flipped them over. The grass bowed under the weight of him atop her. Sasuke growled and lowered his face to the side of her neck, nipping along that sensitive spot. She shuddered and gasped as he thrust long and hard into her, she wiggled against him.

He watched her breasts, the way they moved when he thrust into her "Sakura… look at me." He ordered quietly. He pressed his hands to her face and kissed her tenderly, her eyes flickered opened, the emerald green irises clouded over with desire. He rubbed his nose against hers and smiled at her, she smiled back and he kissed her again. "I love you, koishii."

Her arms came around his neck and she held him tight to her, but her grip loosened, slipping along the sweat on his back and her grip growing weak as her orgasm rushed over her like the breaking of a damn. He could always bring her on the first time.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun," she said through heavy pants and then she rolled her head to the side and tried to catch her breath. "I don't want to go." she whined as she pressed her fingers to his back, tracing designs in the sweat between his scapulas as he chewed the hollow between her neck and shoulder.

"Then stay, breakup with him tomorrow, I can wait." He had been doing nothing but waiting, waiting for her to be with him freely, his part nearly done. Sasuke stroked her hair slowly, enjoying the soft silky tresses against his fingers.

She pressed her face to his chest and inhaled. "You smell so good." He chuckled, brought his lips down to hers, and kissed her deeply. She laughed against his mouth, her hands slipping up to his shoulders. "Hmm, I have to go…" she pushed on his shoulders and pushed him off, searching for her clothes.

She gathered them and pulled on the underwear and then her shorts. Sasuke pulled on his boxers and pants and then hugged her around the waist. "I don't want you to go either. I'm scared Sakura."

"You…? Never." it was hard to imagine that anything could scare him, moving one hand to caress along the third finger of his left hand and for the first time since he got married he removed the ring, it brought a sense of ease to her heart; he was almost hers.

"I am. I'm afraid of losing you." he gave a quiet sigh. "What if you see the dobe and you can't leave him?"

"I guess this is where you have faith in me then." She turned around in his arms and looked up at him. He stared at her for a moment, then smiled and hugged her tight. "I have to go, I love you." they kissed and then again and then his arms tighten around her as she locked her arms around his neck. "I really…" she mumbled, between kisses, "…have to go."

Reluctantly, he let her go; she felt his eyes on her as she walked back to the front of the house, running her fingers through her hair, making sure there were no leaves or twigs in her hair. She bent to pick up his shirt and toss it back so no one would see him shirtless in front of her house now that the streetlights were on.

It was not too far of a walk from her house to Naruto's apartment. Naruto had been gone on a three-day mission since Sasuke walked back into her life and she agreed to leave Naruto for him.

Things were so much simpler when she was younger; her love for Sasuke was steadfast and unquestionable but she let him go and just when she was beginning to actually love Naruto as a woman loves a man… Sasuke came back, actually wanting her.

If she could go back, she would do so many things differently, too. "…Haruno-san?" Sakura stopped just in front of the pub and looked up to see a woman, no ordinary woman.

She was a little taller than Sakura, maybe an inch give or take. She was probably somewhere in her early to mid twenties with long lustrous black hair, exquisite features and eyes as black as night.

_What a pretty girl,_ Sakura thought as she looked at her, there was this kind of sad smile on her face._ She looks like a doll._

"I thought it was you, Shoichi-kun talks about your hair and eyes, constantly." Sakura suddenly felt very sick, all the color drained from her face as she stared at the beautiful woman before her, Sasuke's wife or at least the wife Sasuke was leaving.

Sakura was having a hard time not feeling little self-conscious in the presence of this younger woman with china doll features, what did Sasuke want with her when he had a woman like that?

It was strange in all the time Sakura had been with Sasuke and treated Shoichi she had not once come in direct contact with Sasuke's wife and now here they were, the wife and the other woman. "I hope it's all right, but I was hoping we could talk?"

"I-I actually have to meet with someone." _So I can breakup with him, so I can be with your husband forever…_

"I promise I won't take too much of your time, please can we just talk?" Sakura was wary, but she slowly nodded and they walked inside the pub and took the first empty booth they saw. She left Sakura alone for a moment to order shochu and scotch for Sakura, who requested the drink absently with no real intention to drink it.

Sakura sat in the booth with a nervous feeling creeping along her skin. She had to know, had to know that Sakura was sleeping with Sasuke, again. Damn it, why did she let Sasuke back in, being together was too much trouble, but this was something that needed dealing with before they were out of the woods.

She smiled faintly at the idea of finally being with Sasuke without all the lies, but she was also scared Naruto would hate her forever. Sakura looked up, as the glass of scotch was set in front of her. "Thank you."

She sat down across from Sakura and the two women looked at each other. Sakura's first instincts were to be polite, maybe this woman did not know Sasuke and she had been sleeping together. Her other instincts of shutting her mouth were stronger. "Look, I know, you must think I'm a total bitch and wish I never met Sasuke."

"I never-"

"But I love Sasuke; I really, really love him. I have been waiting this whole time… for him too love me back. We have a child together and there were times when Shoichi-kun was a baby, Sasuke would look at me, and I was wonderful…"

"I don't know what to say…"

"I'm not above begging… so, please, don't take that away from me… please, give Sasuke back to me. Give him back…" Sakura looked around nervously, she felt like this woman was pushing her back into a corner and suffocating her.

Sakura was surprisingly shocked when she saw tears rolling down this woman's face, they slid down her cheeks and she did nothing to stop the tears, just looked at Sakura with those deep black eyes. Sakura wished she would not look at her the way she was with tears clinging to those long, thick eyelashes.

Sakura did not know what to say, apologizing would do nothing, it would not take back all the things Sasuke and Sakura had done together, all the words, all the kisses and of course, it would not make up for the final decision of the two of them finally being together like a real couple.

"I… I have to go." Sakura moved to get up but Sasuke's wife grasped her hand tightly. Sakura looked down at her.

"Please, I'll never bother you again… just don't take my family from me." Sakura tried to get her hand free; she needed to get out of the pub, Sakura's guilt piled heavily upon her.

"I won't, please, let go." she could use her strength to get away, but she did not want to accidentally hurt her in her own panic.

"You promise?"

"Yes, please, let go." she did and Sakura ran out of the pub as quickly as she could. She was going to cry when she reached Naruto's house. She stood there in the dark with only the distant light of the lampposts. Tears slid down her face… take a family away… what a horrible concept.

The door opened and she looked up to see the sleepy face of Naruto. He came to full awareness when he saw the tears in her eyes and running down her cheeks. "Sakura-chan, what's the matter?" he touched her arm and then the other and pulled her to him and she began to really cry, with loud sobs and everything.

Naruto pulled her inside and closed the door.

…

Sasuke pushed the door open and closed it behind him. He was too anxious. Butterflies were tumbling along inside his stomach; he could feel the rush of excitement just as he had on his very first mission only without the danger. She was over there right now breaking it off with Naruto.

Sasuke had everything arranged, he would spend one more night here and then until she and Shoichi had their own place Sasuke would stay with Sakura at her place. Sasuke did not pack anything; he did not really need anything, just a pack of cigarettes and Sakura… that was all he needed.

He set his boots aside, side by side and pulled off his shirt and folded it over his arm and set it on the coffee table and looked up to see his wife. She was wearing a short negligee and her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. "What are you doing up?" he asked.

She stepped out of the lit hallway and stepped into the dark living room, walking closer to him. Sasuke lay down on the sofa and she came around the sofa and sat down next to him, her fingers stroking slow circles on his knee. "I was waiting for you, come to bed."

She came down for a kiss, he turned his head and her lips met his cheek. "We talked about this," he said moving up until he was sitting.

"What did I do wrong?"

"This isn't about you." She gave him a look, one of curiosity. She pressed her lips together as if she were thinking, careful of her wording, whatever she would say.

"How is this not about me?" He got up and she stood. "She isn't going to be with you, she told me." he whirled around, his brows furrowed; it was his turn to be confused.

"You went to see her? What did you say to her…?" he asked and she shifted, bowing her head, her ponytail falling over her shoulder. "What did you say?" the words came out darker than he intended; making his voice almost threatening.

"I said… don't take my family; you're my family. I love you."

"Love me? I don't even touch you."

"You're still my son's father. What about Shoichi-kun, did you not think of him when you started fucking another woman behind my back? I'm your wife, I'm wearing your ring, and I'm an Uchiha." she retaliated, lifting her hand, making the wedding ring visible.

"By accident… I love Shoichi, there's no doubt there and I'll do whatever you want when it comes to him, if you want me in his life I'll be there, if you don't I'll understand and respect that. I'll help in anyway I can."

"I don't want your charity. I want my husband."

"I don't love you. I don't. It was all a lie, my whole responsibility is to make sure my son does not grow up without knowing his father. I'm out of here."

"She promised… Sasuke…!" he pulled on his shirt, grabbed his shoes and left the house. The last thing he heard was her crying. He was a bastard, always had been, he was always making girls cry. He also had to be the stupidest man ever; it took him a couple of years to realize how deeply he actually felt for Sakura.

He needed her, like he needed air to live, food to live… everything was survival, Sakura was his sole his reason for everything, if he did not have her…

He felt so erratic, out of control, illogical. He walked towards Sakura's house; she should be there now. It had been long enough. She would not go back on her word… she would not. The lights would be on and she would be waiting for him as she had always been waiting for him.

Sasuke ran the rest of the way as the rain started to fall. His heart sank when he found the lights off. He ran up to the door and knocked, more than once. He turned around, slammed his back against the door, and slid down, fisting his hair in his hands. "Please… no."

…

Sakura pulled her keys out of her pouch and stopped. She sighed, moved her hair out of her face, and walked over to him. He was sleeping; he was beautiful, semi-dry from last night's rain. She crouched in front of him, pressing her palm to her mouth, just watching him.

Slowly his eyes opened and he jumped awake, he leaned forward reaching for her, she fell back to avoid him. "Sakura…?" She pushed herself up and opened her door. She stepped inside and he followed her. "What happened? Sakura, talk to me."

Sakura walked into the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator door. "I can't talk to you."

"You can't or won't?"

"Whatever you want to believe." she closed the door, took the milk and poured it into a glass from her cabinet.

"Don't patronize me, Sakura." she set the glass aside and licked her lips. "Did you end it?"

"I did not." she turned around and started to wash the glass, slowly as if she had all the time in the world for it. She pressed her lips together and shut her eyes, willing the tears not to fall.

"Why, you said yes… you said we'd be together. I know she talked to you." she whipped her head around, her hair slapping against her cheek as she faced him.

"You know?"

"She told me." she turned her head to the side, looking down at the running water, watching it circle the drain. "It doesn't matter Sakura. All that matters is-"

"It does matter. What she said… made perfect sense and broke my heart." she whispered softly over the sound of running water. "…Just don't take my family…" she repeated. "If I were her I would have done and said the same thing." she started silently cry when he hugged her from behind, pressing her close to him. Tears streaked down her face as he tightened his hold on her waist.

His smell was intoxicating, not only did he smell of the aftershave he wore, but he also smelled like the rain, he rubbed his cheek against hers and she sniffled. "I'm moving in with Naruto and then we're going to start talking about getting married." He pulled back; she refused to look at him.

"Married? What happened last night? You'll marry him, but you refuse to marry me? You don't even love him."

"Yes I do, maybe not the same… passionate, reckless love I have for you. It may never become that kind of love. We just might have a comfortable relationship, but I do care about Naruto, he is very dear to me, he always will be. Maybe next time around, in some distance life you and I can be together. I'll be waiting for that day."

He kissed her, one last time, on the cheek and then… slowly, hesitantly, reluctantly he let her go. Sakura looked to see his back facing her; he was almost out of the kitchen when she called out. "Wait…"

-Fin-


	11. In My Field Of Paper Flowers

**I'm surprised with this story's success, really, when I started writing it I didn't think it would get as many reviews as it did, so I feel okay with the fact that the second chapter got the least of the reviews because I wasn't thinking 185 for this chapter and I wasn't thinking it would do better than my Her Reunion story. Surprises all around. **

**So not to confuse you, the italics symbolize a flashback.**

**I want to thank everyone for submitting their reviews and extra thanks to the people who managed to get in a review from the first chapter to the very last:**

**Laura-chan  
cuito (What? No way! You're like a celebrity to me… a celebrity is hugging me, I'm freaking out!)  
HPBabe91  
Coquettish Siren  
sleepykittycat  
Angel Blossoms  
yourdarkdesire (I can't do that.)  
TamerofDragons  
thexpariah  
TentenPanda  
Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90 (All the begging in the world can't make me make this story happy, it's angst.)  
KeyHole-Gardian (My… you're hostile. And about drawing something up about this I say go for it, though I don't know what would be drawn. Just make sure you let me see it.)  
Uchiha Sasume  
c-Chiaki-c (I think I would be the same way if I got caught cheating with someone else's spouse. Of course in this society the woman would probably try to kill me where I made Sasuke's wife just talk things out with her.)  
Baka Kunoichi  
xrose45623 (I'm not sure why you're so surprised you're the one who asked how many chapters and I told you. I have one more story I want to put up before I take a vacation from fanfiction.)  
petite.ina  
qqq102  
Sakurablossoms742  
MyLadyTopaz  
NoOnesGal1848 (I'm sure you'll take your rating down a notch after you read this chapter, it'll probably be a 1/10.)  
animedreamerz05  
pinkis  
Wolfgirl21  
moodiful819  
Spread-My-Wingz-And-Soar (I've come to accept my role as a disappointment.)  
capricornT  
Paprika012345 (Oh, thank you, finally someone one who doesn't see her as a witch or a bitch.)  
Merridaine (He did tell her.)  
TooLazyToThinkOfName  
Lusiana Malfoy  
latoya (I'm okay with not being forgiven.)  
asuka02redeva  
Decorinne (Me… brilliant, gosh, that's so sweet!)  
Mysterious-Moon06  
Serena of the Moon**

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The precious moments are all lost in the tide…

What a strange feeling…

She no longer seemed to have a body; she was weightless in a sea of green and bright yellows and blues. The smell of wildflowers, so calming, mixed with the stench of blood. She felt so weak; she was so low on chakra.

She was cold in the front, her back warm where the blood pooled around her, she blinked heavy lashes and looked at the evening sky. So pretty, the clouds were thin, wispy, making like breaks in an endless sea. The sun was a dim yellow, not bright enough to sting her eyes.

"Sakura!" a voice, a beautiful voice, laced with frustration and concern… she could hear it from a distance, calling repeatedly, calling her name.

"Please, not like this… don't find me…" she muttered as the voice came closer. She could hear the sound of the grass and flowers bowing under the weight of running feet. Again, she heard her name; the sound surrounding her, it was desperate.

"I'm not in the mood for your games, Sakura!" Games… when she was little, she loved to play hide-and-seek, she always loved to hide, it was more exhilarating than seeking.

The thought of someone startling her so badly that her heart beat a fierce tattoo against her chest, adrenaline running along every nerve- she giggled at the memory, blood gurgling from the back of her throat, bubbling at her lips and coating her teeth red.

She closed her eyes, oh the pain was there, at the back of her skull when she had fallen, despite feeling completely weightless she moved her arm… at least she thought she was moving her arm, and pressed her fingers over where the kunai had penetrated her ribs, buried under skin, muscles, between ribs.

Her hand was wet with crimson and she coughed, her eyes back on the sky, watching the clouds sail the blue sky. Blue… like Naruto's eyes, she smiled again.

Team seven, what a wonderful team they had been… her boys, her men, her lovers… "I'll die knowing I was loved." She suddenly felt cold all over, her blood cooling, painting the grass red, an unnatural, yet strangely beautiful color.

"What are you talking about, you're going to be okay." she shifted her gaze to see the handsome face of her first love, the only man she could ever love with all the hurt that came with it.

She glared at him, remembering how he had left her so long ago, breaking all her happy memories, immersing her in tears, worry, and even resentment. Oh, he was beautiful and she could feel his hand… those hands that brought pleasure to her body when he took her time after time.

"Sasuke-kun… will you… kiss me?"

"Anything." he said, bending over her, his hands pressed into the grass, both arms astride at her head.

Sakura stared up at the ceiling of her bathroom. The showerhead still shot out warm water. Two arms tightened their hold around her torso, holding her tight. Almost too tight, it almost hurt. She turned her head and the water pelted the right side of her face as she looked up at the stoic face of Sasuke. His eyes were distant as if he was not there with her, not really.

"I'm sorry."

"You already said that." he said, turning emotionless eyes down to her. She lifted her hand, but thought better of it and lowered her hand into the rising water. He grabbed her hand and pressed it to his face, the water slid down the side of her hand and she looked up at him, pain etched over his handsome features.

His lips were like the hot summer sun to her cold lips. The contact between their lips was too chaste, she needed more, if this was going to be her last moments on this planet she had to have him kiss her the way he always did.

"Mm… more…" she mumbled against his lips, who knew how long she had… she gave up on God so long ago, even when Sasuke willingly walked back into Konoha after killing master and brother. He pressed a little harder, careful not to cause her anymore pain.

His hands came away from the bloodied ground and he framed her face with his hands as he put more pressure to her lips with his own. His thumbs dragged a red streak across her cheeks. She exhaled in frustration and opened her mouth, urging him to touch her tongue with his, in his harsh demanding ways.

He turned her face towards his and sealed his lips over hers. It was a needy kiss that he bestowed to her. His hand came up from around her waist and cupped her breast, his thumb flicking over the stiff nipple. He moved his hand up to her face and pulled her closer.

She got around, the water washing gently against her waist as she straddled his lap, she stroked her hands up his stomach, gliding up to his chest, tracing lazy circles against the wet skin, the only sound between them was the hissing of water coming from the fixture and splashing onto her back and into the bathwater.

Sasuke licked along the serrated edges of her teeth, he tickled the soft palate, his tongue pretty much down her throat, one hand moving away from her face to wrap around her throat, not squeezing, just touching. He pulled away, his eyes clouded over with restrained lust, his lips smeared with her blood, he touched her hair, fanned out and tinted with her own blood.

Sasuke wiped the blood off his mouth with his sleeve. "This is going to hurt, take my hand." his voice was unusually soft, she smiled and blinked, looking up at the sky as his hand wrapped around the hilt of the kunai imbedded in her side. "Take my hand."

"Do you think- God will punish me?" he looked at her, away from his hand on the hilt, the look on his face made her think maybe he thought she had grown two heads.

"Why would He punish you?" he asked, "If He's going to punish anyone, it's going to be me, I'm a bad man, remember?"

"So am I. I slept with you remember?" he closed his eyes and shook his head, caressed her face, she was cold to the touch, but sweat was secreting on her brow.

"Doesn't matter, everyone is allowed one sin, I've committed too many for entrance. You, however, won't go because you're not dying." End of discussion, no room for anymore words, he would have his way if it were the last thing he would do.

He lifted her up out of the water and moved so he was no longer reclining against the slope then he lowered her down against the tip of his erection and slipped inside her, her head fell back and her lips parted, a soft sigh coming from her mouth as she sank down until he was deep inside her.

"Take my hand."

Sakura's face hovered over his. Her hair rained water in a straight line down over his shoulders, gliding over his shoulders and chest rolling into the water, creating ripples along the surface. Reaching up she entangled her fingers in Sasuke's drenched locks, feeling rivulets of water trickle along the insides of her wrists.

"I love you, Sasuke-kun." he traced the curve of her closed eyelids, over the silken eyelashes smudged against her cheekbones.

He made a noise deep in his throat a half-groan, half-growl and he pushed into her hard, dragging out a strangled cry from her. Then he shuddered and pulled out. "Please, don't tell me you're done." the look on his face was dark, he got a better hold on her waist and he lifted her out of the tub and he shut off the water.

"I wouldn't do that to you." his tone was dark and the feeling behind it made her think he wanted to hurt her emotionally. It knotted her stomach.

"Good, because I love you, too, now do what I'm telling you, Sakura." she took his hand and there was a strange sort of soft smile playing on her lips, he smiled back at her, working his fingers around hers, bringing them to his lips and kissing softly.

Once in the bedroom, Sasuke tossed Sakura onto the bed and was back inside her before the mattress stopped bouncing. "Better?" he asked in a condescending voice. She did not respond, but the swell in her chest drove a distressed cry from her. Tears stung between her eyes but she did not weep.

Sakura closed her eyes and arched into him. She was rolling her hips against his in time with each of his thrusts, he was holding her head immobile, his fingers in her hair, his lips were bruising and hard against hers, his teeth dragging against her cheek, jaw, and throat and collarbone because he felt enraged, wanted to give her pleasure, but not without some pain.

How dare she claim she love him and tell him that she would be with him and then go back on her word, just because some stupid woman- who he married because she was carrying his child- told her some sob story.

How dare she choose to take the dobe for her husband, share her body and her bed with some dead-last loser after claiming that she loved Sasuke and would make sure that everyday was 'fun'. "You said 'anything' for me, right?"

Sasuke looked down at her, he had to be quick, but gentle, had to make sure to close the wound lest she bleed out. "If I do go to heaven, I'll be sure to put in a good word for you," she coughed very lightly, without any strength. He almost believed her, almost, because she was not going to heaven, not yet at least.

He was going to have to ruin her life, she would hate him for a while, but after this… after seeing her in a near-death state… he was going to tell Naruto about them. He had to marry her, had to have her everyday without sneaking around. He would make her the happiest wife ever, definitely.

He lifted his hips up against hers, holding onto her waist, because he had switched their positions, he watched her breasts from time to time, her stomach, her hips where he tightened his grip, but for most of the time his eyes were on her face, she could only stand his stare for so long, but he didn't mind.

When he did get to see the green of her eyes he could not look away, no matter how angry he was he just could not stay that way with her. He reached his hand up and glided his fingertips up the side of her face and into her still thoroughly wet hair, his thumb stroking the arc of her damp eyebrow, she frowned and closed her eyes, whimpering softly and pausing in her thrust.

Sasuke sat up and used his other arm to press her close. His mouth was on the curve of her neck, amid the scent of sweat and sex, he could still smell the aroma of soap and water; she tasted like the latter.

He gripped the kunai and she did not even bat an eye. She was watching the clouds in the sky, but she made a sound as he pulled free the kunai, blood flowed, seeping out from her side.

He pressed his hands to her gapping wound, blood slicked the palms of his hands and filling between his the spaces of his fingers. She smiled, closing her eyes, once, twice… did not open them again.

"Sakura…?"

She gasped, slumped against his body, both of them sleek with sweat. At last her orgasm had found her and she moved her lips against his neck, her fingers dancing over the mark marred into his flesh at his nape. "Why Naruto?" he asked, his chest heaving against hers. "You never told me why."

"You weren't there," she sobbed into the hollow of his neck and shoulder. "I love you Sasuke-kun, I swear it, I do, but I can't hurt Naruto… I… can't."

"I love you too," He held her fast, for as long as she would allow him. "With all that's left of my heart." He brought the blanket over her shoulders to keep her warm; she was precious to him, the only one for him.

"Sasuke-kun can you tell Naruto… tell him I'm sorry for everything starting way back…" he refused to dignify that with an answer, she was going to live. He could hear Naruto coming now.

"You can tell him yourself." She managed to open her eyes. "He's coming, can't you hear that stupid mouth of his?" she tilted her head like a puppy who heard a sound, most curious. She blinked, the sound of her lungs rattling wet against her ribs.

"…you." she whispered, her chest raising less, "I love…" She lowered her lashes, her chest stilled; she was colder than ever, under the blood her lips were a very pale blue, the blue of her veins more apparent. He laughed a nervous quick burst.

"Sakura… open your eyes, koishii." he cupped her face, while the other hand moved over the bloody wound that stopped flowing moments ago.

"Sasuke-teme, did you find her?" Naruto yelled, he ran closer and then he skidded, breaking grass under his feet, he dropped to his knees, "Sakura-chan?" He reached out to touch her as if to prove that it was not real, that Sakura could not possibly be lying in a pool of her own blood.

It was an S-rank mission, but it had nothing to do with assassinations, it was just a transportation of classified documents. Naruto told her he did not think she should take the mission. Out of the squad members, only one survived, the one carrying the document brought to Konoha from another village.

Sakura had persuaded him to go while she held off the assailant and he returned and told Naruto and the Godaime that Sakura was still out there. Naruto told Sasuke and they went as back-up.

The perimeter was ruined and the attacker was dead, but then so was Sakura. She was not supposed to be dead. She was a medic for God's sake! "This isn't right!" Naruto ground out, holding Sakura's lifeless body close to him.

Sasuke sat back, his hands going to his eyes, to hide that he was crying, but he could not hide the anguished sounds of sobs falling from his mouth. His heart shot; there was nothing left now and his pain only doubled when he heard the soft mumbling from Naruto.

"Oh, God the baby, oh, God the baby!" he mourned against her shoulder, stroking her hair. It started raining, a little at a time, the heavens joining the anguish cry of the two grown men.

Sakura opened the door and found Sasuke standing there. "What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here; Naruto's coming over later to help me move my stuff in with him."

"I want to know if it's true."

"Know if what's true?" she asked, pushing away from the door and walking into her box infested living room. Sasuke came in and closed the door.

"…If you're pregnant." she whirled around so fast that she almost tripped over one of the boxes, he reached out and grabbed her wrist and steadied her, she snatched back her hand, her green eyes flashing a warning.

"What? Where did you get a stupid idea like that?"

"Your mother…" she tripped over her tongue and she tuned around, heading into the kitchen, which also contained several boxes, one still opened. She started stuffing cups inside the box, it was not things she needed; he also knew that she was giving many of her things to her mother.

"Since when did you start talking to my mother?"

"I wasn't, she was talking to Ino down at the flower shop, please answer the question."

"Well, you must have misheard her, I'm not pregnant."

"You're lying." she looked back at him, her eyes flashing that same warning from earlier, he met her stare and did not flinch, he wasn't an easily unnerved man. She should know that by now. "If it's mine, Sakura, I want to know."

"I already told you… I'm not or ever have been pregnant."

Fuck, she was pregnant, God… she was going to be a mother and now- now she was not. He wanted her back, could not even hold her. She died telling him what he always wanted to hear, died and took a child with her and with all his dumb luck, a child that was probably his and not Naruto's child.

…

"It's such a shame to see two of the best shinobi lose their lives the way they did." A woman said to another and Naruto laid his cheek against the table and Hinata sat with him, she always sat with him, never saying anything unless he wanted her too.

His best friend was dead… his fiancée and her child dead, it could have been his child, but the odds were most likely in Sasuke's favor. Uchiha Sasuke was the one who got everything that Naruto wanted, no matter how strong he got, or how much he changed…

That bastard, he was always so selfish, had to have everything, and could not even let Naruto have his fantasy. Naruto knew Sakura would never love him the way she loved that calloused bastard, but she had told him the child was his, partly because it was what he wanted to hear and partly because maybe she was not sure whose child it was.

She had slept with them both, not because she was whore, if she had felt she had a choice she would have been with Sasuke and no one else. Sakura was always trying to please everyone at once, she just had too big of a heart, and too little self-confidence.

Sakura told him that she loved him, because of everything he had been through just to ensure she kept on smiling and pretended ignorance when she would sneak off to be with Sasuke instead.

Just once, though, Naruto had wished Sakura had looked at him and not seen the idiot everyone believed he was. He only kept his mouth shut about her unfaithfulness because she was always coming back to him, because they were the public couple and once, for a year after the initial return of Sasuke, she had been his alone.

Now they were both dead. The people Naruto had grown up with, the two people he loved more than his own damn self. So selfish, Uchiha Sasuke was always so damn selfish.

* * *

A/N: **It's no use death threatening me, the story is over, your words ineffectually pass over me. Plus, you don't know where I am and you wouldn't waste time or money to find me.**

Song Lyrics appearing in Sick Cycle Carousel by album, song title and artist:

No Name Face, Sick Cycle Carousel, Lifehouse

Century Child, Feel For You, Nightwish

O, The Blower's Daughter, Damien Rice

The Open Door, Lithium, Evanescence

Crossfade, The Unknown, Crossfade

Origin, Anywhere, Evanescence

Back To Bedlam, Goodbye My Lover, James Blunt

Testimony, It Is You I Have Loved, Dana Glover

Surfacing, Adia, Sarah McLachlan

Hopes And Fears, Somewhere Only We Know, Keane

Fallen, Imaginary, Evanescence

Ashanti, Baby, Ashanti

Special 2004, Exodus, Evanescence

How To Save A Life, Trust Me, The Fray

14 Shades Of Grey, So Far Away, Staind

Cry, One, Faith Hill

Love Crimes, Please Don't Forget About Me, Ruff Endz

Never Gone, Incomplete, Backstreet Boys

14:59, Someday, Sugar Ray

Listen To Your Heart, Listen To Your Heart, DHT


End file.
